I say.

“You wanna talk miracles?

Liam being nice—now, that

would be a miracle,” Catalina says.

She turns to Liam and challenges him.

“Why don’t you try it sometime?”

“Oh, I bet he’s nice to her sometimes,” Javier says.

“He knows we’re lucky to have sisters

to crack us up.”

It’s wild that Javier is so nice,

he can’t imagine that Liam’s so mean.

After Javier leaves,

Liam gives me an odd look,

and I wonder if he’ll

ever see me like Catalina and Javier do.

I’m so focused on my thoughts,

I almost drop the box.

“Be careful.”

Catalina holds the box steady

after it tips.

“It might break.”

It does break.

My heart.

I run my fingers along

the Mexican punched tin and

orange-and-blue Talavera tiles

framing the full-length mirror.

I see me,

all of me,

for the first time

in a long time.

My brown, curly hair.

Milk-chocolate eyes.

Slightly tanned skin from swimming.

Apple cheeks.

Round, soft body.

I can’t hold back the tears.

It’s beautiful.

And I’m beautiful.

SERVING CHRISTMAS

Once a year,

we come together and

act like a real family

when we volunteer

to serve Christmas dinner

at the mission.

When we run out of cookies,

I go to the pantry for more.

I turn the corner and see Enemy Number 3.

He’s trying on shoes.

When they fit perfectly,

his face lights up.

His mom points to a pair of pants

that are right in front of me.

I quickly turn the corner.

It’s my turn to slam

my body against a wall

and suck in my stomach

to make room for him

so he doesn’t know

I know where he gets his clothes.

He might not deserve that kindness,

but I know he needs it.

STARTING OVER

Mom has to work late,

so Dad and I get to make s’mores

in the chiminea.

I hold my toaster fork over the flame

until the fire chars it black before

I blow it out and eat it,

crunchy, sticky, and sweet.

On the patio table,

I see the latest book he’s been reading.

“Is it any good?”

“It’s very interesting,”

he says as he bites into a s’more

and strings of white goo

stick to his chin.

“It’s about cultures that have

ceremonial burnings

to symbolize letting go and

starting over.”

I know what I want

to let go of

so I can start over.

“Be right back.”

I go to my room and return.

As page after page

turns to ash

and floats up the chimney,

I feel more and more free.

Fat Girl Rules

make for great kindling.

I’ve realized

it’s the only thing

they’re good for.

ALL FIGURED OUT

Doc starts with small talk

to get me talking, then

—boom—

catches me off guard

with a question.

I have her all figured out.

She asks what I did