He turned onto Reverence Street.

“That’s when Rhyanon came in. At considerable personal risk, she managed to break Renson out of the Wards before he could face any Renewals.” He glanced over his shoulder. “About that time, I realised that the Resistance was full of shit. All rhetoric and bluster, no real plans. But Rhyanon, she meant business.”

I smiled. “So you joined her instead?”

“It was one or the other.” He stopped the horses. “This was about eight years ago, so it’s ancient history now.”

I climbed out of the carriage. “Were you Renson?”

He shook his head, looking a little sad, a little amused. “No. No, I wasn’t. But I did love him. He lives in Portevis now, where he’s met someone else.”

I put my foot on the driving board and hoisted myself up beside Osan.

“What…” His look of alarm vanished when I hugged him. He laughed. “Hey, what’s this for?”

“Renson made a bad call if he chose someone else,” I whispered.

“You think?”

“I’m certain.”

“Uh-huh.” He briefly returned the hug. “All right then, but please get down now before you spook the horses.”

I complied. He straightened his hat.

“Don’t go sentimental on me, Just El,” he said. “This is long in the past.”

“I won’t mention it again.”

He nodded, satisfied. “Get going, then.”

At this hour, the dormitories were all but silent. I moved quietly down the corridors and up the stairs to my room. A light burned in the passage outside.

I felt exhausted but restless. The evening had given me a lot to think about. A lot to worry about. Not to mention my other lingering concern, but that …

A folded piece of paper had been slipped under my door. I frowned, then knelt and picked it up. There were only five words written on the page.

We need to talk.

—Finn

I stared at the message for a minute, before crumpling the paper within my fist. No. I had made myself clear. We were not going to do this again. It didn’t matter that I missed him, or worried about him. The memory of his kiss burned bright in my mind.

He kissed me back.

And for a moment, just the smallest moment, I had felt joy.

I tossed the paper into the bin beside my desk and sank onto my bed. I would ask Millie to pass a message to Finn, but I could not face him myself. Especially if he wanted to talk about what happened on Moon Tide Eve.

Tired though I was, I struggled to fall asleep. I felt too hot. When I did eventually drift off, my rest was fitful. Vague, stressful dreams dissolved into nightmares.

I ran through the trees, retracing my steps to the Moon House, but instead of a vision, Finn was stalking me. Then I was chasing him, and no matter how fast I ran, he was always just out of sight. The forest began to collapse around me, and I was waving goodbye to Zenza while she begged me not to leave her, waving goodbye to my mother as they took her to the Martyrium, then I was inside the Renewal Wards and Declan Lars was on top of me—