“There will be a cab waiting on the south-western road.” She folded the umbrella as she reached the doorway. In the dull light, her face was haggard, her eyes bloodshot. I received the impression she had not slept, but she looked composed nonetheless, professional even in her exhaustion. “I also had two of my girls ride your Cats to Portevis and leave them outside the chapter house. I doubt the ruse will work, but it seemed worth a try to divert attention. Any trouble here?”

“Sacor caused a small disagreement, that’s all.”

“I’ve sent word to the Commander that the mercenary is in our care. For now, we won’t be able to risk handing her over to the Order; she knows too much about your movements.” She smiled in a self-deprecating sort of way. “And about my assistance to you, obviously.”

My heart sank. “So we can’t use her to convict Celane?”

“I said ‘for now.’ The situation isn’t ideal, but it’s salvageable. We’ll hold her until circumstances change.”

Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore, I thought with a hollow pang. What good could a trial do now? What are we even doing here?

“You could martyr me,” I blurted out.

Cyde seemed taken aback. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve made a terrible mistake, but there’s still time to repair the Pillar and halt the island’s fall. With the Renewer’s power, you could do it.”

Her face softened. “Oh, Elfreda.”

Why didn’t you try to stop me? “There might be nothing down there, nothing but Haunts and death. This was my doing, so it’s only right that I pay the price.”

She made a gesture for calm, but I swiftly negated it. Cyde had to see, had to understand—this went so far beyond me, or her, any of us. With each passing hour, each slow moment of our descent, my feeling of panic grew stronger.

“Maybe I,” I swallowed, my mouth bone-dry, “maybe I don’t even need to die. You could amputate—”

“Enough,” Cyde interrupted firmly. “I am not going to eat you, I am going to help you. Now, please tell your friends to get ready to leave.”

Finn was already waiting inside. He looked like he wanted to speak, but I couldn’t bear being chastised or offered empty consolations. I brushed past him to collect my bag.

The woods smelled of mulch and sap, dry earth turned wet. We set out from the cottage and took a path around the western hillside. The track was so overgrown that it was hardly visible. Earthworms slinked through the new mud, and birds rustled their wings and chirped. I drew my borrowed coat tight around my chest as the wind buffeted us with sheets of rain.

Cyde led the way, with Millie walking beside her. The two of them spoke in low, serious voices; heads bent together. Lariel followed behind them, with Finn and me bringing up the rear.