The woman eyed me. “Do you have a problem with me?”

“El!”

I turned and saw Millie hurrying across the road. Her hair was tangled around her shoulders, and her cheeks were flushed.

“So good to see you!” she said loudly, as she seized me by the forearm and steered me away from the brazier. She lowered her voice. “What are you doing here? It’s late, you shouldn’t be out alone.”

“It’s only just past nineteenth bell.” I resisted her; there were further questions I needed to ask the meat seller. “Did you know about this? That people are getting around the embargo?”

Millie affirmed her grip and dragged me onwards with grim determination. “The merchants were always going to find a way. But if anyone here realises you’re a Sister, there’s going to be trouble. Your wrist isn’t even covered.”

“Why should I always have to hide what I am?”

“What you are is an idiot.”

“Say that again when Aytrium is starving.”

“El, your friend got murdered barely three blocks from here.”

“I’m well aware of where Zenza died,” I snapped. “But that doesn’t mean I plan to cower away in my room every time the sun goes down. Ceyrun is my home too.”

“Your ‘home’ will stick a knife in your ribs, toss you into a gutter, and spit on your corpse. You are not safe.” Millie emphasized each word while glaring at me, and for the first time I realised how deeply afraid she felt. Millie never chastised me; she never lost patience when it came to my bad habits, when I was stupid or callous. But right at that moment, she looked ready to kill me herself.

The realisation cut through my defiance, and I was suddenly left lost and uncertain.

“It’s … it’s important.” I dropped my gaze. “I’ve spent months trying to find new ways to stretch Aytrium’s resources, but it won’t be enough, not if the embargos are failing too. We’ll never be able to feed everyone.”

Millie exhaled.

“I get it,” she said. “I know how hard you work, and I know the crisis is real. But you’ve got to be smarter about this.”

“They think the Order is lying.”

“They think there’s still profit to be made, and they aren’t wrong.” Her hold on my arm loosened. She took my hand instead. “Let me walk you home. Please.”

I felt impossibly tired. What was the point? I had nearly died last night, I devoted my life to serving and protecting Aytrium, and in return its people trampled my efforts to save them into the mud. What did anything matter? I would live, briefly, and then this place would cut me to pieces and devour me.

And I missed my mother.

“El?”

“I just wanted Finn,” I said quietly. “You asked what I was doing here. I wanted to find Finn.”

Her expression softened. “Oh. He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Millie squeezed my hand.