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Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Also by Silas House
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. Contents
  7. Part One
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. Part Two
  27. 1
  28. 2
  29. 3
  30. 4
  31. 5
  32. 6
  33. 7
  34. 8
  35. 9
  36. 10
  37. Part Three
  38. 1
  39. 2
  40. 3
  41. 4
  42. 5
  43. 6
  44. 7
  45. 8
  46. 9
  47. 10
  48. 11
  49. 12
  50. 13
  51. 14
  52. 15
  53. 16
  54. 17
  55. 18
  56. 19
  57. 20
  58. 21
  59. 22
  60. 23
  61. 24
  62. 25
  63. 26
  64. 27
  65. 28
  66. 29
  67. 30
  68. 31
  69. Part Four
  70. 1
  71. 2
  72. 3
  73. Epilogue: The Everything
  74. Acknowledgments
  75. About the Author
  76. About Algonquin
  77. Copyright

“It won’t always be this way,” Asher says, but he isn’t so sure of that.

A decision straightens Justin’s shoulders. “Soon as I can I’ll call the law and tell them.” He is wild-eyed now. “I’ll run away from you.”

Asher grabs hold of Justin’s arm and jerks him off the bed. Justin is kicking at the air but he hits Asher’s shins instead. Two words escape his mouth—Please Daddy—and that causes Asher to freeze with Justin hanging out in front, draped at the waist over Asher’s forearm. He sees his mother holding Luke like this as she struck the backs of his legs, sees himself as a child, crying and begging her to stop.

Asher puts Justin down. But the damage is already done.

He realizes now that Shady is standing on the bed, growling and baring his teeth. The dog is ready to attack for Justin, but once he sees that Asher has calmed down, he does too. Shady licks the tears on Justin’s face but even this doesn’t still his son.

“I hate you,” Justin says, his lips trembling while tears streak down his red face. “I hate you so much.”

8

8

After a while Asher eases back into Justin’s room holding a paper towel with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it. He sits a peach Nehi (Justin’s favorite) on the nightstand and tosses a bag of potato chips onto the bed beside Justin.

“You need to eat,” Asher says, and holds out the sandwich and chips for Justin.

Justin turns his head away. Shady makes a move for the food so Asher sets it on the nightstand out of Shady’s reach.

“I know I messed up, Justin. You’re right. But it’s too late to fix it now. If I take you back now, I’ll never see you again. They’ll put me in prison for a long time, and, I just can’t stand the thought of losing those years with you.”

Asher’s standing there in the middle of the room, feeling like a fool while Justin keeps his back to him.

“I’ve tried to be a good man all of my life, buddy,” Asher says. “I tried following all of the rules and doing everything by the book. But the whole time, it was making me a harder person instead of a better one. That ain’t no way to live, son.”

Asher stops and puts his hands into his pockets, trying to figure out what to say next, his frustration rising; he can actually feel it moving through his body. “Justin, do you hear me?” He tugs at Justin’s shoulder, conscious of how small his bones are. “Justin! First you say the worst thing anyone can say to another person and now you just ignore me? Why are you doing this?”