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Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Also by Silas House
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. Contents
  7. Part One
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. Part Two
  27. 1
  28. 2
  29. 3
  30. 4
  31. 5
  32. 6
  33. 7
  34. 8
  35. 9
  36. 10
  37. Part Three
  38. 1
  39. 2
  40. 3
  41. 4
  42. 5
  43. 6
  44. 7
  45. 8
  46. 9
  47. 10
  48. 11
  49. 12
  50. 13
  51. 14
  52. 15
  53. 16
  54. 17
  55. 18
  56. 19
  57. 20
  58. 21
  59. 22
  60. 23
  61. 24
  62. 25
  63. 26
  64. 27
  65. 28
  66. 29
  67. 30
  68. 31
  69. Part Four
  70. 1
  71. 2
  72. 3
  73. Epilogue: The Everything
  74. Acknowledgments
  75. About the Author
  76. About Algonquin
  77. Copyright

Now he saw that her hands were trembling. That evening in the cedar woods her hand had felt so small in his. That little moment in time when they thought they could build a real life together.

The room was filled with the dark scent of brewed coffee but neither of them moved to get a cup.

“I’ve studied on it a lot, Lydia. You know I don’t believe that way anymore. All my life I’ve thought I’ve understood everything in that Bible, but now I know that none of us can know the mind of God. He’s too big for that.”

“I won’t change my beliefs,” she said, “just because you have. A person can’t go their whole life believing that one plus one equals two, then have someone tell them it equals three and just—” she snapped her fingers “—start believing that. It don’t work that way.”

She was a preacher’s daughter and then had gone straight to being a preacher’s wife. This was her life’s work. But for the first time he realized he heard fear in her voice. She had grown afraid of everything. Once she had been open to the whole world—her head thrown back in laughter with the scent of those cedars all around them—and now her rigidity and fear had turned into something bordering on meanness.

“And my job is to keep my child from seeing two men together like that. And to make sure my husband stays on the right path. If I lay down my beliefs, I’m betraying you and Justin.”

“Lydia, listen to me. You’ve gotten belief confused with judgment. We’re not to judge. You’ve let all this judgment from the church take you over. It’s taken the joy out of you.”

“There’s no joy in this world like the kind I feel at church.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. And this fear in you. This hatred. You’re afraid of anybody who’s different. Of anything that’s not your way.”

“I’m at fault because I’ve stayed the same and you’ve changed?”

He thought for a moment. “I reckon so.”

“All a person has is what they believe in, Asher. Haven’t you been preaching that very thing your whole life?”

“They’re our neighbors,” he said.

“I love you, Asher,” she said, her voice pleading now, low, careful. “I’ve always loved you.”

He couldn’t say the same to her, and he was surprised by this. But there it was, clear as the new morning.

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