“Go on to Zelda’s,” he tells Luke. He doesn’t say out loud that he doesn’t want Justin to see him get arrested, but Luke knows.

Asher holds on to Justin as they drive down the hill. They pass over the crackling gravel to Zelda’s house and Asher feels he is leaving his own body. He feels that he can look down and see his son, the most important thing that ever happened to him. He is looking down and telling him goodbye.

The long lace of the willow tree rests on the windshield—shush, it goes against the glass—and then Luke turns off the ignition and they sit there with the engine clicking and the breeze moving into the cab of the Jeep while Justin remains latched on.

Asher hears a redbird calling: birdie birdie birdie.

Asher climbs out and the boy scrambles out from behind the seat to stand close to him. Asher squats down there beside the Jeep beneath the shade of the willow tree with Zelda’s house on the other side of the vehicle. He knows she’ll be out soon. Soon as she sees Asher’s Jeep she will rush out to get Justin, even if she fears Asher now, although he doesn’t think she ever would. And any minute those police cruisers will be here. He can’t let Justin see that. He has to hurry.

Asher takes hold of Justin’s shoulders.

“It might not be as bad as we think, buddy,” Asher says.

“I’ll talk her out of charging you. She won’t do it if I ask her to. I know she won’t.” His words are rat-a-tat-tat, the tears streaming down his face from his red eyes. “They can’t do anything to you if she doesn’t want them to.”

Asher isn’t so sure about that. He figures the state will do its own thing, no matter what. Maybe even the feds, for all he knows. Right now Asher has to tell his boy goodbye in case it’s a long, long time before he lays eyes on him again.

“No matter what happens, don’t ever hate. You hear me?” Asher says. “No matter what?”

Justin nods, hard. He’s so little, too little for nine, too little for how big that mind is. Justin wears his bright orange Key West tee shirt he had insisted on buying, which makes him look even smaller since it’s too big. Asher feels that sense of peace and goodness that radiates from him. He’s like a balm.

“And always believe. Try your best to not lose that.”

Asher is barely conscious of Luke standing near them. He may or may not be telling Asher that they have to go. Asher may or may not hear sirens in the distance. He can’t be sure. He’s outside himself.