‘I’m not proud, Maisie. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I know it was wrong. I crossed a line that I can’t uncross but I’m sorry and I promise you I’m not that man. I swear to you.’ He was begging her but she couldn’t take it in. He broke his leg in two places. He made him dig his own grave. Fred tried to reach for her hand but she pulled away. Oh, no. Another violent man.

Fred

Fred saw the fear in her face. He didn’t move a muscle. He knew she felt threatened. He remained seated, even when she put herself in the corner. Instead he closed his eyes and pictured himself standing over Danny, the bat coming down on his leg. He saw it twist and heard it shatter, then Danny’s agonized screams.

‘The second it happened I felt sick, Mai.’

It was his biggest regret and he needed her to understand that. He had acted the hard man on that porch step with Danny but it was all a lie. He hated himself for that beating. Years later it still haunted him. He had nightmares about it.

‘You made him dig a grave,’ she said quietly.

‘I just intended to frighten him but in the end I frightened both of us.’

She shook her head in utter disbelief. ‘And Ma knew?’

‘For a minute I was a hero, but then she rang the hospital and discovered the damage. She was still grateful but she was weary. Who could blame her?’

‘She’s scared of you,’ Maisie said, and her voice quivered.

‘It made me change how I looked at meself. It’s my one regret in life, and yet if he was ever a threat to you, I’d go up that mountain and I’d do it again.’ He wasn’t being macho, he was being honest. That’s the thing that worried him most: that if he had to he’d do it again.

‘I need you to leave.’

‘Mai, please.’ He stood up, and as he did, she reared back. He stayed where he was with both hands in the air. ‘I’m no threat to you. Jesus, Mai, I’d do anything for you.’

‘Go home, Fred.’

His heart burned a hole in his chest. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he said.

‘Get out.’ She looked scared and angry, bitter and so very sad. ‘Get out,’ she roared, tears spilling from her eyes. ‘“Never trust a man with a beard. He’s a man with something to hide” – that’s what my mother has always said and she was right.’

‘That’s it, Mai. That’s the worst of me. There’s no more. Please.’

‘Do I have to call the police?’ Her words stung as surely as if she’d slapped him across his face.

‘OK. I’ll go.’