'Hello,' he said, 'can I help you?'

'It's me, Thursday.'

'Thursday?' he echoed, eyes wide open as he stood up. 'My daughter Thursday?'

I nodded and he moved closer.

'My goodness!' he exclaimed, scrutinising me with great interest. 'How wonderful to see you again! How long's it been? Six centuries?'

'Two years,' I told him, not wanting to confuse a confusing matter even further by mentioning our conversation this morning, 'but why are you working for the ChronoGuard again? I thought you went rogue?'

'Ah!' he said, beckoning me closer and lowering his voice. 'There was a change of administration and they said they would look very closely at my grievances if I'd come and work for them at the Historical Preservation Corps. I had to take demotion and I won't be reactualised until the paperwork is done, but it's working out quite well otherwise. Is your husband still eradicated?'

'I'm afraid so. Any chance . . . ?'

He winced.

'I'd love to, Sweetpea, but I've really got to watch my Ps and Qs for a few decades. Do you like the office?'

I looked at the sixties decor in the tiny room.

'Bit small, isn't it?'

My father, who was clearly in an ebullient mood, grinned. 'Oh yes, and over seven hundred of us work here. Since we could not all be here at one time, we simply stretch the usage out across the timestream like a long piece of elastic.'

He stretched his arms wide as if to demonstrate.

'We call it a timeshare.'

He rubbed his chin and looked around.

'What's the time out there?'

'It's 14 July 1988.'

'That's a stroke of good fortune,' he said, lowering his voice still further. 'It's a good job you've turned up. They've blamed me for the 1864 war between Germany and Denmark.'

'Was it your fault?'

'No – it was that clot Bismarck. But it doesn't matter. They've transferred me to another division inside the Historical Preservation Corps for a second chance. My first assignment occurs in July 1988, so local knowledge right now is a godsend. Have you heard of anyone named Yorrick Kaine?'

'He's Chancellor of England.'

'That figures. Did St Zvlkx return tomorrow?'

'He might.'

'Okay. Who won the Superhoop?'

'That's Saturday week,' I explained. 'It hasn't happened yet.'

'Not strictly true, Sweetpea. Everything that we do actually happened a long, long time ago – even this conversation. The future is already there. The pioneers that ploughed the first furrows of history into virgin timeline died aeons ago – all we do now is try and keep it pretty much the way it should be. Have you heard of someone named Winston Churchill, by the way?'

I thought for a moment.

'He was an English statesman who seriously blotted his copybook in the Great War, then was run over by a cab and killed in 1932.'