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Chapters (40)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. PENGUIN BOOKS
  4. Dedication
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-one
  26. Twenty-two
  27. Twenty-three
  28. Twenty-four
  29. Twenty-five
  30. Twenty-six
  31. Twenty-seven
  32. Twenty-eight
  33. Twenty-nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-one
  36. Thirty-two
  37. Thirty-three
  38. Thirty-four
  39. Thirty-five
  40. THE BEGINNING

Sasha nodded solemnly then put the end of her plait into her mouth and chewed it frantically. Clem picked the scab on her knee. Aggie wriggled off Irene’s lap and wandered over to the toy box, which she started to rummage through, tossing headless dolls and plastic shapes onto the floor. Irene persevered.

‘But sometimes adults decide they would do better living apart.’

But oh, she was doing this all wrong! She’d discussed it with Adrian, and later with Sarah, who worked with children at the hospital, and she’d rehearsed it silently to herself late last night. Adrian sat opposite her, his hands on his knees, and nodded inanely at every word. The scratch on his cheek had nearly disappeared.

‘I’m hungry,’ said Clem. ‘Starving.’

‘Hang on, Clemmie, we’re trying to tell you something.’

‘Starving to death, starving to death, starving to death,’ she chanted.

‘I will see you just as much as before,’ said Adrian, rubbing his knees as if there were grass stains on them.

‘Are you splitting up?’ said Sasha, still sucking her plait.

‘No!’ said Adrian at the same time as Irene said, ‘Well, yes …’

‘Doesn’t Daddy love you any more?’ said Clem. ‘Is he dumping you?’

‘Of course I love her! I’ll always love her.’ He gave a sickly smile but didn’t look in Irene’s direction. He couldn’t seem to meet her eyes after her nocturnal visit. He always looked up and then glanced off to her right, as if something intensely important was happening just beyond her. ‘But sometimes you love people and yet can’t live with them.’

‘We’ll always be friends,’ said Irene, boiling oil for blood.

‘Best friends?’ said Clem. ‘Don’t think so.’

Aggie hauled out a skipping rope and held it in a circle behind her. ‘One-two-three-ready-ready-GO,’ she yelled and flung it wildly over her head, lashing Clemmie on the cheek.

‘Owwwww!’

Irene hauled her onto her lap and kissed the red mark just to the side of her mouth. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.

‘I hate you,’ Clem screamed at Aggie, who burst into tears. ‘You’re just a sissy little girl.’

‘Where will we live?’ asked Sasha, calm through the hubbub.

‘Oh,’ said Adrian, taken aback. ‘Here.’

‘Not half and half? That would be fairer.’

‘I’ll come and see you as much as I can,’ said Adrian. Tears welled up in his eyes.

‘I don’t mind sharing a room with Clem and Aggie at first.’

‘I bet it’s because of me,’ said Clem cheerily.

‘What?’

‘You said when I broke the window that you couldn’t stand it any more.’

‘No, no, no,’ said Irene frantically. ‘It’s not you. This is nothing to do with you. You have to believe us – this is something between us. It’s our fault.’ She stared at Adrian: your fault, your fault, your fault, her eyes said. He gazed down at the carpet.