I take off my jeans and lie on the sofa. He goes down on me. Michael hasn’t gone down on me since before we were married. The last time he did it, he stopped before I came and said he just couldn’t stand the taste. Why am I just realising how cruel that was? I have a gorgeous vagina. This man is reminding me of that. It’s like I’m a bowl of warm chocolate and he’s eating his way out of me. He’s so good at it. I have my hands on his head. I want this to be filthy. I come very quickly. I’m not done.

I bring his head back up to my face and lick and kiss his lips. He starts to undo his jeans. I don’t want a quick fuck on a sofa in the missionary position. If he comes quickly and that’s all that happens, it will have been for nothing. I need more from this. I pull away from him and reach for my bag. I almost fall off the sofa but he catches me. He must think I am getting a condom, but I’m not. I have a little pot of Vaseline lip balm. I tell him to take off his jeans, and I smother his penis with the Vaseline. He tells me I’m ‘so hot, so sexy’. I look him in the eye and ask him if he’s feeling naughty. He tells me he is.

I am a sexual woman and he is so lucky to have me on his sofa. But I am getting what I want out of this. And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.

I turn myself around, and when he tries to enter me I guide him upwards. I think of Risky. I want to be more Risky. ‘I want you in my arse,’ I tell him over my shoulder. He hesitates, but not for long. He undoes my bra. It’s a nursing bra and it falls to the sofa. My breasts full of milk, my baby at home, Michael. I get those thoughts out of my head. I deserve this. He gently pushes his penis into my bottom at my request. I’ve never had anal sex before, I don’t know what brought me to it in this moment. The need to feel dirty? In control? Desired? Or just that my vagina belongs to someone else? If I do it this way, maybe it isn’t so bad? Or maybe I just need to reclaim my slutty side.