“Yes, it is,” I told him. “I’m your friend, or I’m not. You trust me—or you don’t.”

He sheathed the Sword and turned away, facing the window.

“That’s the real reason you didn’t want to hat up and go gunning for the Denarians right at first, the way I wanted to. You were worried I was leading you into a trap.”

“I didn’t lie to you, Harry,” Michael said. “But I’d be lying right now if I didn’t admit that, yes, the thought had crossed my mind.”

“Why?” I asked, my voice perfectly calm. “What reason have I ever given you for that?”

“It isn’t that simple, Harry.”

“I’ve fought and bled to defend you and your family. I put my neck in a noose for Molly, when the Council would have killed her. I can’t even tell you how much business I’ve missed out on because of the time I’ve got to spend teaching her. What was it that tipped you off to my imminent villainhood?”

“Harry…”

Nicodemus had been right about one thing: It hurt to be suspected by my friends. It hurt like hell. I didn’t even realize I had raised my voice until I’d already screamed, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Michael turned his face to me, his expression grim.

“Do you think I’ve decided to side with Nicodemus and his buddies?” I snarled. “Do you really think that? Because if you do, you might was well put that Sword through my neck right now.”

“I don’t know what to think, Harry,” he said quietly. “There’s a lot you haven’t said.”

“I don’t share everything with you,” I retorted. “I don’t share everything with anyone. That’s nothing new.”

“I know it isn’t,” he said.

“Then why?” Some of the fire went out of my voice, and I felt like a half-deflated balloon. “You’ve known me for years, man. We’ve covered each other plenty of times. Why are you doubting me now?”

“Because of Lasciel’s shadow,” Michael said quietly. “Because as long as it’s in you it will tempt you—and the longer it stays, the more able it will be to do so.”

“I gave Forthill the coin,” I said. “I figured that pretty much said it all.”

Michael grimaced. “The shadow can show you how to summon the coin. It’s happened before. That’s why we’re so careful not to touch them.”

“It’s over, Michael. There is no more shadow.”

Michael shook his head, his eyes filled with something very like pity. “It doesn’t work like that, Harry.”

The fire came back. The one thing I didn’t want or need was pity. I’d made my own choices, lived my own life, and even if they hadn’t all been smart choices, there weren’t many of them that I regretted. “How do you know?” I asked.

“Because in two thousand years, no one has rid themselves of the shadow of one of the Fallen—except by accepting the demon into them entirely, taking up the coin, and living to feel remorse and discarding it. And you claim that you never took up the coin.”