I couldn’t dream of a more perfect job for Alya’s peculiar gifts. It came so naturally to her, so happily. And strange to say, I never failed to pick out Alya’s true voice through a soundtrack’s sonic mulch, her everyday pitch of conversation, argument, and love. It was a voice whose depth and warmth and clarity transmitted it directly into your head. Later, I asked her the question she’d no doubt had to answer a hundred thousand times before: “Why aren’t you a professional singer?”

But she had no interest in being just another singer. She was, and I don’t blame her, sufficiently enthralled with her own unique, almost unreal abilities. Dazzled by my discovery—perhaps because of the magical world which it revealed to me—I found myself unable to tell Alya about the thing that had, at one point, placed my whole future in jeopardy. What stopped me? Pride or fear or shame? Whatever the reason, I was reluctant to reveal a secret that would have to be revealed eventually and that, eventually, was revealed, though by then a lifetime had gone by and everything had changed. But even though I couldn’t tell her, it was always on my mind:

When the editor called me in my heartbeat doubled. Exhausted by the hard years I’d traveled to this moment, yet here was the finish line at last! My head was held high or, if not actually high, then certainly not bowed. In the hush of the waiting room, his secretary smiled: “Go in.”

Through the door and my shoes were lost in the thick carpet. I patted my back pocket to check my wallet and ID were there, wishing I’d brought a pen. I was telling myself he wouldn’t mind if I had to borrow one of his, when there he was, smiling back at my smile and asking me to sit.

I waited for him to take the contract from a drawer, but he just went on smiling and said, “Congratulations.” He asked me to confirm one last time that I wasn’t currently under contract with any other company or agency, to which I shook my head vigorously. He nodded his as though this was the answer he’d expected. I grew concerned that the sound of my heartbeat would reach his huge ears. “Delighted you’ll be contributing to the next issue,” he said.

I said nothing, just nodded, and he went on:

“As you know, we get our share of scrutiny since we’re not afraid to point the finger of blame. They try to bring us down, but because we know we are acting only in the best interests of our nation, we place our faith in Almighty God and press on.”

I kept quiet and he kept talking.

“But God is the cause of causes.”

He lit a cigarette.