“I don’t like it.” I moved my arm to see Kort shaking her head. “You’re not allowed to make new friends. Only us.”

“You’re the ones who abandoned me!”

“Vomit.” Kort said. “Projectile.”

“Your choice to reproduce.”

Kort opened her mouth. Then nodded and resumed bouncing. “Yeah. That’s fair.”

“So is that the only reason why you haven’t been answering your phone?” Claire pushed. “Because you stayed out late at Moonie’s and were hungover?”

I could have said yes. But I was bad at lying. And it was Claire.

I covered my face with both arms this time.

“Fine. Lily—the one who invited me to their table—and I kind of...clicked. I thought we clicked really well, actually. So we sort of slept together?”

Claire gasped and hit my side. Kort let out a low whistle.

“This,” Kort said, “is incredible. I cannot believe we all missed this.”

“Kelsey did show up at one point,” I remembered. “I was pretty drunk. Don’t know if I introduced her to Lily or not. She sang one song and left.”

Kort laughed. “Of course she did.”

“Sam,” Claire gushed, “I’m so excited for you! This is the first person you’ve slept with since Dan, right? And she doesn’t even seem like a gigantic asshole, from what I can remember of her, anyway. Personal growth, Sam!”

“Yeah, well.”

God, I wished Claire hadn’t mentioned Dan. Because everything I was feeling felt remarkably, horribly Dan-ish.

Like I had thought something special had happened to me—that the wanting between us had been the same—and then I woke up and discovered I must have had it all wrong from the start.

It was hard not to feel like last night had been the nail in the coffin. How many times could I do this to myself?

Even though it had truly felt like it was different. But wasn’t that how it always felt, at the start of something? Maybe it was merciful, to have whatever existed between Lily and me not even get past the beginning.

Back to the plan, then. Fully commit myself to a life of Crushes Only. A future of eternal pining. Fantasies that could never hurt me.

I really didn’t think it would be that bad.

After I got over Lily.

Or more accurately, after I got over the possibility of her.

“Yeah, well, what? Good god, Sam, lower your arms. You look like a pouting teenager.” Claire yanked on an arm and I let it fall away. “What happened?”

“She...left.”

“So text her,” Kort said. “Tell her you want to hang out again. You deserve someone good, Sam.”

Oh no, Kort was being nice to me. I must have seriously looked rough.