I knew he probably was an asshole. No, he was definitely an asshole. But in bed, no one had ever made me feel so attended to, so...thoroughly debauched, in such an exhilarating way. It seemed hard to believe that someone who treated my body with such care, who made me feel so good, physically, couldn’t care about me even a little, emotionally. Nate told me this was naive. But that only made me feel even shittier, so I stopped talking about Dan to Nate, or to any of my friends really, after that.

“You know,” Lily cocked her head, “I’ve always been worried that I’m only okay at sex stuff. Like, how do you know, really?”

This shocked a laugh out of me.

“Me too. Although, well.” I scratched needlessly at my hair again, face flushing. “Dan did teach me some stuff.”

“Wow,” Lily breathed. “I really hate Dan.”

I smiled at her. The night was still cold, but warmth was sliding back into my blood.

“I would really like it if we stopped talking about Dan now. Do you believe me? That I want you?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry. I knew you did. I just...got freaked out. Sorry. Although…”

“Yeah?”

“It was really cute watching you squirm.”

She grabbed my shirt and pulled me back to her.

“I would very much like to have mediocre sex with you, Sam,” she whispered into my lips, which made me laugh, so it took my brain a second to catch up with the fact that finally, she was kissing me again, and her tongue gliding past my lips was just as sweet as I’d imagined.

I fell back against the wall and she came with me, parting my legs with her thigh, her hands weaving into my hair, fingernails scratching at my scalp. A noise escaped my throat, raw from karaoke, and she growled back, pressing her body into mine. And everything about it felt right, comfortable and satisfying: transformative. The perfect fit.

God, I loved kissing this adorable nerd.

It was embarrassing, that I’d shown my insecurities in asking those questions—I shouldn’t have to do that shit anymore, and it had been obvious all night that Sam liked me. Was attracted to me. But when the door of Moonie’s shut behind us and we were out in the cool, quiet night, away from the contained safety of the bar, I got scared. I wasn’t ready for Bold Lily to disintegrate, for this bubble to burst. And I was still a little fucked up from “Eternal Flame.” So, yes, I was freaking out.

But then Sam had called me pretty.

Do you believe me? That I want you?