I had been on the pill for years and decided that maybe now was the time to give my body a rest. After all, it wasn’t supposed to be good for you to be on it for too long, was it? I didn’t need to mention it to Peter, who had always clearly just assumed that I was taking precautions – because he certainly wasn’t.

So for the next couple of months I stopped taking it. Because of the number of years I had been on it, I assumed that it would take a while for me to become fertile again. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. When my period didn’t arrive, I put it down to my body taking time to regulate itself. But when my breasts also began to feel tender and grow at an alarming rate, I realized there may be another explanation.

I bought a two-pack pregnancy testing kit in my lunch hour and sat on the loo shaking, as I waited for the result to arrive. When the positive sign appeared in the window of the first one, I looked at it in disbelief, before ripping open the second test and repeating the process. Again, the positive result sign appeared, a little faint, presumably because it was so early but still clear enough to be sure. I stared at it for several minutes, trying to process how I felt. I was shocked and scared, but also excited and thrilled.

I was going to be a mother. The words kept going round and round in my brain. And not only that, I was going to be the mother of Peter’s baby. It was as if the love I felt for him was already suffusing the little life just beginning to take shape inside me and tears of pure joy began to roll down my cheeks. I had never really had anyone who loved me unconditionally. Maybe my dad, but he was long gone. My mum probably did love me, too, but she was more scared of me than anything. This baby would be the first time I had known that pure, unbreakable love that I had always craved.

I returned to my desk just as Marcus was coming back from his lunch. He stopped short when he saw me. ‘Hey, you OK?’

I nodded, not daring myself to speak in case I either burst into tears again or blurted out my precious, wonderful secret.

‘You look … different,’ he said, watching me with a frown.

‘Different how?’ I managed, trying to look busy, as I scrolled through my emails.

‘Not sure. Just different.’

I laughed. ‘OK. Well, I’m going to take that as a compliment, even though I’m not sure it is.’

Marcus laughed back, before walking into his office. ‘Oh, it’s definitely a compliment.’

I smiled to myself. I couldn’t wait to see Peter that night, to tell him the news. He would be shocked, of course. But once he got used to the idea, he would see that we worked as a couple and we could work as a family.