Ben gazed at me for a few seconds before he nodded slowly and allowed me to take his hand and lead him into the bedroom.

Part Three

Chapter Twenty-Eight

One Year Later

Jo stared at the screen of her mobile, willing it to spring into life with a reply from Ben. She would much rather have called than texted, so that she could at least hear his voice but she knew there was no point. Bella was obviously screening his calls, whether she rang the landline or the mobile.

Sighing as the screen stayed resolutely blank, Jo put the phone down and rested her forehead on the cool granite surface of the island worktop, as the heavy weight in her chest became just a tiny bit heavier. After a while, she looked up and stared out of the window, across the undulating green lawns, speckled with the first leaves of autumn, the sky a sulky shade of grey. She could almost hear her own breath echoing back at her from the four walls of the empty kitchen.

The pain of losing Peter was never far away and although she was beginning to learn how to survive without him, she sometimes thought it hurt more now than on the day he died. So many times, the grief assaulted her when she was least expecting it: she would start to dial his number automatically; or a diary entry would pop up on her phone for something he had put in as a yearly event; or she would put something in her basket at the supermarket that only he ever ate. Each time, it was like a punch in the face.

But she also knew that she would be coping far better if she hadn’t also lost Ben. He had all but disappeared from her life as soon as the funeral was over. He and Bella immediately pulled out of buying the beautiful house they had found nearby and had moved to Surrey instead, ‘to be near to Bella’s mother’, Ben had told her, sounding embarrassed. His words caused her heart to splinter just a tiny bit more.

Despite Bella’s prickliness, Jo had looked forward to them moving closer. She had imagined balmy summer days full of fun, when she would take Elodie off to the beach or for walks in the beautiful countryside, hoping that the little girl would be just the tonic she needed, to fill the void left by Peter. But those dreams were quickly buried, along with him.

Whenever Ben did call her these days, which wasn’t often, he was furtive and rushed, as if he was terrified that Bella might catch him doing something he shouldn’t. At first, he had been able to call her from work, but once they moved, Bella had insisted he give up his job to stay at home with Elodie, while she returned to her job in the city. Apparently, she had been promoted within the company, so wanted to focus on her career. Jo knew that Peter would have hated Ben giving up his job but she was pretty relaxed about it and proud that he was happy to be a house-husband for a while.