‘Just look after Elodie and I’ll call you in the morning,’ Ben said, cutting through my thoughts.

‘OK,’ I whispered, before hanging up. I didn’t want to speak to Ben, or hear his voice for a second longer. I was stuck with him now and it had all been for nothing. He had served his purpose and been the perfect way to punish Peter for what he had done but I didn’t need him anymore and I certainly didn’t want him. The thought of him coming anywhere near me already made me feel physically sick and my mind raced with thoughts of how the hell I was going to get out of this mess I was in.

I switched on the coffee machine and waited impatiently for it to heat. I already knew that wouldn’t be sleeping a wink tonight so it wouldn’t matter if I made myself the strongest possible cup of coffee, to steady my nerves. I lifted the cup to my lips and flinched as the boiling liquid burnt my tongue. With a wail of pain and anguish, I flung the cup at the wall, smashing it and sending liquid exploding everywhere. ‘Screw you, Peter!’ I yelled. ‘Screw you!’

Chapter Twenty-Six

‘Hurry up, Bella!’ Ben yelled from the hallway. ‘We need to go!’

‘Piss off!’ I muttered at my reflection in the mirror of my dressing table. I was dreading today in so many ways. Ben was absolutely distraught about the death of his father and I was finding it increasingly difficult to be sympathetic to his grief. Every time he broke down or became maudlin, I just wanted to scream at him that it was worse for me.

I felt so many emotions towards Peter – anger, grief, love, hate and sometimes all of them at once. But the overriding emotion was disbelief. I still couldn’t accept that he had really gone.

Ben strapped Elodie into her car-seat and I climbed into the back beside her, not wanting to sit beside Ben or have to communicate in any way. He frowned at me in the rear-view mirror but said nothing. We had barely spoken since he came home the day after Peter’s death, which suited me just fine. We were both locked in our own intense thoughts and for my part, I didn’t want to risk letting anything slip. I knew I should try to comfort and support him but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything good, so decided it was best to say nothing. Ben probably thought I was feeling guilty about my behaviour towards Peter but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Elodie fell asleep almost immediately, as she always did in her car-seat, so the journey progressed in silence, with me staring out of the window, as the pretty Suffolk countryside rolled by.

We had had an offer accepted on a house less than a mile from Ben’s parents’ home. Peter had been true to his word and stumped up the extra cash, not that he had had much choice. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, when I thought we would be living so close to Peter. But now that it was going to be just Jo, I had no intention of going through with it. She drove me mad just seeing her once every few months. Her being on the doorstep would be a nightmare.