Which means it’s exactly as if they had died. Loved ones who die never change, either. They’re always the same age in memory.

So what I’m going through isn’t something so different. How many women became widows in the war? How many mothers have buried babies that they hardly had time to hold? I’m just part of the same sentimental comedy as everyone else, the sad parts always followed by laughter, the laughter always by tears.

It wasn’t until later, when she was alone in her bed, the children asleep for the night, Mrs. Delphiki gone next door—or, rather, to the other wing of the same house—that she was able to bring herself to read Bean’s note again. It was in his handwriting. He had done it in a hurry and in spots it was barely legible. And the paper was stained—Peter hadn’t been joking about Ramón peeing on the envelope a couple of times.

She turned the light out and meant to go to sleep.

And then something occurred to her and she switched on the light again and fumbled for the paper and her eyes were so bleary she could hardly read, so maybe she had actually fallen asleep, and this thought had woken her out of a sound slumber.

The letter began, “There’s one thing we forgot to decide.”

But when Peter read it, he had started with “I love you.”

He must have scanned over the letter and realized that Bean never said it. That it was just a note that Bean had jotted at the last moment, and Peter worried that she might be hurt by the omission.

He couldn’t have known that Bean just didn’t put that kind of thing in writing. Except obliquely. Because the whole note said “I love you,” didn’t it?

She turned the light off again, but still held the letter. Bean’s last message to her.

As she drifted off again, the thought passed briefly through her mind: When Peter said it, he wasn’t reading at all.

26

SPEAK FOR ME

From: PeterWiggin%[email protected]
To: ValentineWiggin%[email protected]/
AuthorsService
Re: Congratulations

Dear Valentine,

I read your seventh volume and you’re not just a brilliant writer (which we always knew) but also a thorough researcher and a perceptive and honest analyst. I knew Hyrum Graff and Mazer Rackham very well before they died, and you treated them with absolute fairness. I doubt they would dispute a word of your book, even where they did not come off as perfect; they were always honest men, even when they lied their zhopas off.

The work of the Hegemon’s office is pretty slight these days. The last actual military ventures that were needed took place more than a decade ago—the last gasp of tribalism, which we managed to mostly put down with a show of force. Since then I’ve tried to retire half a dozen times—no, wait, I’m talking to a historian—twice, but they don’t believe I mean it and they keep me in office. They even ask my advice sometimes, and to return the favor I try not to reminisce about how we did things in the early days of the FPE. Only the good old USA refuses to join the FPE and I have hopes they’ll get off their “don’t tread on me” kick and do the right thing. Polls keep saying that Americans are sick of being the only people in the world who don’t get a chance to vote in the world elections. I may see the whole world formally united before I die. And even if I don’t, we’ve got peace on earth.