“Hot Soup, then,” said Shen. “Because you couldn’t even get in to meet Mr. Caliph.”

“What smart fellows you all turned out to be,” said Graff.

“‘Waterloo was won,’” quoted Rackham, “‘on the playing fields of Eton.’”

“What the hell does that mean?” asked Carn Carby. “You never even went to Eton.”

“It was an analogy,” said Rackham. “If you hadn’t spent your entire childhood playing war games, you’d actually know something. You’re all so uneducated.”

17

BOATS

From: Champi%T’it’[email protected]
To: WallabyWannabe%BoyGenius@stratplan/mil.gov.au
Re: “Good Idea”

Of course Graff’s “offer” sounded like a good idea to YOU. You live in Australia.

—Dumper

From: WallabyWannabe%BoyGenius@stratplan/mil.gov.au
To: Champi%T’it’[email protected]
Re: Ha ha

People who live on the moon—pardon me, the Andes—shouldn’t joke about Australia.

—Carn

From: Champi%T’it’[email protected]
To: WallabyWannabe%BoyGenius@stratplan/mil.gov.au
Re: “Who was joking?”

I’ve seen Australia and I’ve lived on an asteroid and I’d take the asteroid.

—Dumper

From: WallabyWannabe%BoyGenius@stratplan/mil.gov.au
To: Champi%T’it’[email protected]
Re: Asteroid

Australia doesn’t need life support like an asteroid or coca like the Andes to be livable. Besides, you only liked the asteroid because it was named Eros and that’s as close to sex as you’ve ever gotten.

—Carn

From: Champi%T’it’[email protected]
To: WallabyWannabe%BoyGenius@stratplan/mil.gov.au
Re: At least

At least I have a sex. Male, by the way. Open your fly and check to see what you are. (You grip the handle of the zipper and pull downward.) (Oh, wait, you’re in Australia. Upward, then.)

—Dumper

From: WallabyWannabe%BoyGenius@stratplan/mil.gov.au
To: Champi%T’it’[email protected]
Re: Let’s see…zipper…fly…pull…

Ouch! Ow! Oweeee!

—Carn

The sailors were so nervous to have The Lady aboard their dhow that it was a wonder they didn’t swamp the boat just getting out to sea. And sailing was slow, with lots of tacking; even turning the ship seemed to require as much work as the reinvention of navigation. Virlomi showed none of her impatience, though.

It was time for the next step—for India to reach for the world stage. She needed an ally to free her nation from the foreign occupiers. Even though the atrocities had ended—nothing filmable now—Alai persisted in keeping his Muslim troops all over India. Waiting for Hindu provocations. Knowing that Virlomi couldn’t control her people as tightly as Alai now controlled his troops.

But she wasn’t going to bring Han Tzu into the picture. She had fought too hard to get the Chinese out of India to invite them back again. Besides, even though they had no religion to force on people like Alai’s Muslims, the Chinese were just as arrogant, just as sure they were entitled to rule the world.

And these Jeeshboys, they were so sure they could be her masters. Didn’t they understand that her whole life was a repudiation of their sense of superiority? They had been chosen to wage war against aliens. The gods fought on their side in that war. But now the gods fought on Virlomi’s side.

She hadn’t been a believer when she began. She exploited her knowledge of the folk religion of her people. But over the weeks and months and years of her campaign against China and then against the Muslims, she had seen how everything bent and turned to fit her plans. Everything she thought of worked; and since there were tests proving that Alai and Han Tzu were smarter than she was, it must be that entities wiser than they were providing her with her ideas.