“Because a few people in the I.F. and ColMin will know. And they’ll be in contact with Bean by ansible. He’ll be called home when the cure is found.”

They flew on then, as Petra tried to deal with what they’d told her. Bean held her most of the time, even when her anger surged now and then and she was furious with him.

Terrible scenarios kept playing themselves out in her mind, and at the risk of giving Bean ideas, she said to him, “Don’t give up, Julian Delphiki. Don’t decide that there’s never going to be a cure and end the voyage. Even if you think your life is worthless, you have my babies out there too. Even if the voyage goes on so long that you really are dying, remember that these children are like you. Survivors. As long as somebody doesn’t actually kill them.”

“Don’t worry,” said Bean. “If I had the slightest tendency toward suicide, we would never have met. And I would never do anything to endanger my own children. I’m only taking this voyage for them. Otherwise, I’d be content to die in your arms here on Earth.”

She wept again for a while after that, and then she had to feed Ramón again, and then she insisted on feeding Ender and Bella herself, spooning the food into their mouths because when would she ever get a chance to do it again? She tried to memorize every moment of it, even though she knew she couldn’t. Knew that memory would fade. That these babies would become only a distant dream to her. That her arms would remember best the babies she held the longest—the children she would keep with her.

The only one she had borne from her own body would be gone.

But she didn’t cry while she was feeding them. That would have been a waste. Instead she played with them and talked to them and teased them to talk back to her. “I know your first word isn’t going to be too long from now. How about a little ‘mama’ right now, you lazy baby?”

It was only after the plane had landed in Rotterdam, and Bean was supervising the nurses as they carried the babies down onto the tarmac, that Petra stayed back in the plane with Rackham, long enough to put her worst nightmare into words.

“Don’t think that I’m not aware of how easy it would be, Mazer Rackham, for this fake death of Bean’s not to be a fake at all. For all we know there is no ship, there is no project to find a cure, and Volescu is going to be executed. The threat of this new species replacing your precious human race would be gone then. And even the widow would be silent about what you’ve done to her husband and children, because she’ll think he’s off in space somewhere, traveling at lightspeed, instead of dead on a battlefield in Iran.”

Rackham looked as if she had slapped him. “Petra,” he said. “What do you think we are?”