She had not wanted to. She understood what it meant to give birth in this place, what kind of a life her child would have, but she wanted to have the baby. Part of her thought the man might relent and let her go, but that wasn’t the main reason. The main reason was nothing other than the feeling that she wanted her baby. It was inside her and she couldn’t bring herself to kill it. She had nothing against abortion; if you’d asked her before she was abducted what she would do if she got pregnant at sixteen she would have said she would have got rid of the baby.

But that was before she knew how it felt. And it felt right. That was the word: it felt right. Everything else was as wrong as it could be, but this one thing was right.

And she did not want to end it.

So she decided to have the baby and the day had come and she’d given birth, which was, pardon her French in front of a child, a fucking miracle. She couldn’t believe she – and Seb, for that matter – had survived. It was so violent. And so, so hard. Worse than hard. Worse than anything. Like having someone reach a hand into your body and turn you inside out.

She had done it all alone. The man had told her what to expect. Push on the contractions, rest in between. He gave her a pair of kitchen scissors to cut the cord, and a wooden peg to clamp it. Slap the baby if it’s not breathing. Check the cord’s not around its neck.

She wondered how he knew this stuff, if he was even right. She asked for a doctor.

What if something goes wrong? What if the baby needs help?

That’s a risk you’ll have to take. For you and the child.

And then it began. At first she wondered what all the fuss was about. The contractions were mild, just an increase in tension in her abdomen. She was starting to think this might not be all that big a deal when she felt like someone wearing iron-toed boots had kicked her in the stomach.

She lay on the bed, sweat forming on her forehead.

It happened again and again and again. For a time she found some relief by getting on all fours, groaning and moving her hips from side to side. That passed. Eventually the contractions were every few seconds and she could feel the baby between her legs, see the shape of her stomach change as it moved down.

She screamed through the next contractions and then it was out. She put her hands down and felt a head. The contractions continued, and shoulders then a torso then legs emerged. and she lifted and there was a baby on her chest, a baby who could move and was crying and was hers.