“But also, it’s just sort of nice to look back on a year or twenty of your life and reflect on how it might have been different if you hadn’t been together.”

He studies me carefully, and I feel like I’ve gone too girly on him. It’s a romanticized version, I admit.

“What would you do if you made it an entire year with the same girl?”

His eyes widen, playfully exaggerating as if he’s horrified by the idea of a relationship that long—maybe he’s not exaggerating, but he grins. “I’m not sure.”

His mouth finally captures mine. Maybe it’s because we aren’t in danger of being caught or maybe he’s just exhausted from the day, but our kisses are lazier. We take our time just kissing without rubbing up on one another, no hands roaming beyond the face and neck. It’s unexpected but nice. Soft and sweet in the sexiest way.

When we finally lay down on my bed, he removes my clothes between kisses dropped on my lips and body. I tug at the hem of his shirt and he lifts it and tosses it to the floor. We’ve never been completely naked at the same time. My heart rate skitters when I finally get the full skin to skin contact I’d only imagined until now.

Whether it’s because he hasn’t wanted to or because he’s read my hesitation, I’m not sure, but Heath and I haven’t had sex. We’ve done practically everything but.

The largest part of me wants to, but something inside of me still screams for me to hold back. I hate to acknowledge that something because I think it has everything to do with the way I held out on having sex with Bryan for years and then as soon as I did, he broke up with me. I get that it wasn’t the sex, and maybe I still would have slept with him even if I knew it was going to end. But the fact of the matter is, it scares me that the same thing might happen with Heath.

His dick twitches between us and heat pools at my center. There’s a lump in my throat as I find my voice. “I don’t think I’m ready. Is that okay? I mean, I want to do other stuff, just not that.”

His hands frame my face, and his blue eyes stare deeply into mine. “Of course, it’s okay.”

He savors my body in a way I’ll remember forever. Taking sex off the table only makes him more creative, and he gets a well-deserved A plus in that department.

We fall asleep still naked and I take note of a different type of anniversary—the first time you realize you’re falling for someone.

22

HEATH