A few people pass by in the hall and give me weird looks, and the door continues to mock me by staying shut. I blow out a breath, the magnitude of how badly I screwed this up makes my whole body ache something fierce.

I’m caught off guard when the door finally opens, and I stumble forward. My heart soars and then plummets when it’s Ava’s face that appears and not Ginny’s.

“She’s not here,” Ginny’s shy roommate says, her cheeks turning pink.

“Right, okay, could you give her a message?”

She nods, prompting me. Shit, what’s the message? I’m sorry that I’m a giant prick doesn’t really tell her anything she didn’t already know, even if it’s accurate.

“Just ask her to call me.” I step back and then add, “Please?”

37

GINNY

“Thank you for doing this one with me,” I say to Dakota as the group of local elementary students line up for a tour of the Hall of Fame. It’s my first day back working after being locked in the hype room. I’m already a mess from last night and the idea of being in there by myself again is scary.

“Of course. These guys might look little but trust me, it’s going to take two of us plus their teacher to keep them in line.” She gives me a reassuring smile and steps forward and introduces herself.

I fall back and let her do the majority of the talking. I’m not feeling particularly chatty, but I answer questions and help keep the kids from wandering off. It’s a totally different experience than the recruits get, less focused and more about letting the kids walk around awestruck by catching glimpses of college athletes working out or walking around campus. They look up to them like celebrities and it’s pretty heartwarming. But since it’s less intense than our recruit tours, I’m able to fade into the background, and today I’m extremely thankful for that.

When we walk into the hype room, Dakota goes first, the kids follow, and I bring up the end of the line. She glances to me as I enter. I nod to let her know I’m okay. Maybe the anxiousness I thought I’d feel coming in here again is dulled by the deep aching pain I’ve had since I walked out of Heath’s apartment last night, but I’m able to stand and watch the video without panicking. It’s a generic video, encompassing all sports, but since hockey is such a big deal at Valley, there are still lots of times that Heath’s face splashes on the screen. Each and every time it feels like someone’s pouring alcohol into an open wound.