I think this, all of this, as I stand in line now, waiting for the Lexus, my Lexus that will transport me back to Los Feliz and into the arms of my wife and 2.7 children, while noticing for the first time the crispness in the air on this late November night.

Some Do It Naturally

Wait a second, I want you to hear this. Seriously, listen. Those two, over there. Yeah, I know it’s eavesdropping, I know that, but you have to catch this; listen. It’s not wrong, come on, it’s not illegal or anything, it’s just not that nice. Granted. Still, I can’t help myself. Listen.

“… it’s a life, I don’t care what you say.”

“I’m not saying that, who says I’m saying that? I didn’t.”

“No, but you’re implying it.”

“I’m not either. I mean, not really.”

“Ahh, yeah, you were …”

“When? When did I say that?”

“Just now, with the ‘if you do it soon it won’t really matter’ thing. Right there.”

“I’m just saying scientifically. Scientists—you know, doctors or whoever—have argued for years that there’s a certain cutoff point, like, a grace period or whatnot, before a thing becomes a person. Or a baby, or … you know what I’m saying.”

“Yeah, I do, I know exactly what you’re saying. You’re making an argument for killing it.”

“You don’t kill something that’s not alive.”

“Now you’re saying that it’s not even …”

“I mean ‘human,’ that’s all. With a soul and everything.”

“But it does have, I believe that it has a …”

“I’m just repeating a theory.”

“No, you’re trying to make it OK. Make killing allowed.”

“I’m not either, I promise I’m not. I’m only pointing out that people, people with a lot more degrees and learning and that sort of thing than us—I have a bachelor’s, but that’s no big deal—have agreed that life doesn’t really take place until a certain point. That it’s not instantaneous, that’s all.”

“How do you know that, though? Or them, even, how do they know for certain? I don’t care if they studied at some big university or not, what do they know about the spirit of something?”

“Oh, brother.”

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s …”

“No, what? Go ahead.”

“… if you’re gonna bring religion into it, then we might as well just forget it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s messy. Religion is just a big mess when it comes to this stuff. Practical life stuff.”

“I can’t even believe you’d say that. What’re you saying?”

“We shouldn’t get off on some tangent here …”

“God isn’t a ‘tangent’! He means something, at least to me …”

“Yeah, really? What exactly?”