“Yeah,” he states, flatly. Directly. Scooping up the Life section and burrowing in. Thinking all the while, She wants me. She wants me. I know she wants me.

A Second of Pleasure

“… all right, here’s the thing.”

“What?”

“The thing of it is, I don’t really want to go. I don’t. I guess that would be the actual thing of it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“I know I’m standing here, and I’ve got my bag in my hand and all that, but if you were to ask me right now, ‘Hey, do you really wanna do this, go to the country this weekend?’ I’d say, ‘No, not really.’ I would, I’d say, ‘No thank you. I don’t.’”

“But … you already said yes before. I mean, before now. Today. This minute. You said yes earlier this week.”

“I know I did, you’re right, I did do that.”

“And that was, like, Tuesday or something.”

“Late Tuesday, I think, but yeah. Yes, it was.”

“So, I mean, you … you had all week to say something.”

“I know, I know that, and I should’ve, but …”

“The train’s out of here in, like, ten minutes …”

“I realize this is sudden. I mean, unexpected.”

“Very. It’s very much that …”

“I know. I didn’t want to do this … I mean, I did, I did want to tell you earlier, call you or something, because, believe me, it would’ve been easier that way. On the phone or in an e-mail to the office, but I really was on the fence here. I couldn’t decide. I’d felt this general sense for a while, I mean, this week—don’t know how long exactly—but then today I had this … a thing happen. This idea that I should say something.”

“So … you gave it a lot of thought, then?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, it didn’t … the idea didn’t just pop into your head this minute. Standing here under the clock or whatever. You’ve mulled it over.”

“Yes. A bit.”

“Considered it all …”

“Well, I didn’t … you know, I wasn’t up at night because of it, but, yeah. I tried to find the right approach to … but then I’m suddenly standing here and we’re buying snacks and I’m thinking, Gosh, I need to say something. I need to, and I have to do it now. That’s what I was doing a moment ago, when you touched my shoulder and said, ‘You OK?’ That’s what I was doing at that very moment.”

“All right.”

“I was coming to a decision about it.”

“Without me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m saying that you were deciding about our weekend by yourself. The fate of it. Without any input from me.”

“Well, sort of … yes.”

“Got it.”

“I said already that I should’ve mentioned something sooner …”