“What about if I gave you, like, say, twenty dollars?” You throw it out there like chum to a shark, hoping it lands with the intended impact. The boy sniffs and blinks for a second, processing this. What you didn’t figure into the equation—how could you?—is that this is Herb’s boy and he’s no idiot. Well, he comes dangerously close to being an idiot, but an idiot savant when it comes to other people’s junk and, therefore, dangerous when trying to wheel and deal with. The kid’s eyes narrow and he shows his top row of teeth. One incisor missing. There’s only one direction to go in now, you figure, and that’s forward. Go for broke because this fellow is on to your game and his sister continues to watch you as she lifts a set of used car mats down from an overhead space. The older women cooing at the various colors and shapes.

“Why don’t we make it fifty?” you say, even before you realize it.

“Ummm … lemme get my sister,” he fires back and holds up his palm toward his property. Fully expecting it this time. You drop the twenty onto his sweaty flesh instead, changing tactics in a last-ditch effort.

“Oh, and could you get me change for this? Thanks a lot.”

Timmy is thrown by this one—he’s been raised to be helpful with the customers—and so he nods and wanders off, heading toward where his sister is standing on a short folding ladder. At the moment his head disappears behind a display of lamp shades you dart for the door, moving with a purpose. It’s almost a jog, if you’re honest with yourself, and you decide to stop for no one.

Six steps from the archway you meet a mountain range of a man—any doubt as to whether or not he is Herb is removed at seeing his name sewn on the front of his vest—who greets you with a broad smile and a kind of half salute. “Howdy, young fella, need any help?” You drop the lunch pail to your hip and turn slightly away, covering the booty as best you can while you keep moving.

“Just looking, thanks,” you stammer as you clear the door frame and start reaching for the emergency exit.

“Well, come back and see us!” his throaty voice booms out behind you, turning all the other heads in the place. You try to nod but can only keep walking at this point. Picking up the pace as you begin fumbling for the rental keys in your pocket with your free hand.