“If that’s true, whose fault is it?” Noelle asked, her arms crossed over her chest. “No one can rely on you. You are the last person anyone would call in an emergency. And if we’re about to lose the Christmasland, we sure as hell have an emergency on our hands.”

“You can hate me, but you have no right to judge my ability to be a part of Carrigan’s. I do have a lifetime of memories here.” Tears still ran down her face, but she mirrored Noelle’s stance, her arms crossed and her feet rooted. “I know what goes into creating a Carrigan’s Christmas season.” Noelle’s anger had called up her own, and for once, instead of fleeing or folding, she wanted to fight.

“I have every right!” Noelle snapped. “It is my business, Miriam, it’s literally my actual business. You know nothing about Carrigan’s Christmasland. You were a child when you were here for the season, with no awareness of how much labor goes into making Carrigan’s run smoothly.” Noelle was pointing at her, and it made Miriam want to bite her finger. “You’re in no way equipped to take any of this on. Based on what I know of you, you are the opposite of equipped for real life.”

“What possible evidence do you have of that?” Miriam demanded, screwing her hands to her hips. When people bigger than her yelled, usually Miriam shrunk, but not now. She stared Noelle right back down.

“You’re all over the country, making some bullshit fake art for Instagram and avoiding the people who love you. Where were you when Hannah broke apart?”

When Hannah broke apart over what? Miriam wondered but didn’t ask.

“You are totally unavailable to do any heavy lifting in your relationships. That’s fine! That’s a choice you’ve made! But we have people whose lives and meals depend on Carrigan’s running smoothly. You’ve never paid anyone’s paycheck. I don’t even know how you pay your own! We need dependable, and you’ve already proven no one should trust you.”

She looked at Miriam, and Miriam found that she couldn’t break away from the absolute certainty on Noelle’s face. That certainty was really pissing her off, and it felt great. She’d been sad, scared, and shut down for so many years, but now she was only afraid that her anger was going to light her hair on fire—even if some dark part of her worried that Noelle’s words were true. She needed to prove to herself that Cass was right to trust her. And she wanted to prove it to Noelle, so she could shove it down Noelle’s throat.

“And you’re some dependable angel, here to save the poor denizens of Carrigan’s Christmasland from the evil Miriam Blum?” She was shaking, she was so angry.