Hannah nodded sadly. “She got all her old buttons pushed, some of them by you, which pushed all your old buttons, and it kind of set off a chain of dominoes. Neither of you was acting out of your higher selves, just old toxic fight-or-flight patterns. You fight, she flies.”

Noelle hung her head, and Hannah ran her fingernails through Noelle’s hair, scratching her scalp in slow circles and grounding her. Fuck. What would she do without Hannah?

“I didn’t trust her, and I chose not to see all the ways she’s already changed. I got scared and blew up.” Noelle felt like she’d been running a marathon, trying to get her compassionate brain to outrun her fear and distrust.

“I mean, yes, but also, you are in the middle of incomparable grief, and not reacting the way you might otherwise,” Hannah pointed out. “Neither is she. We did just lose our North Star, and none of us is over that.”

“I gotta do something so I don’t act like this again.”

Hannah nodded. “There’s a pack of little old lady alcoholics who probably have some ideas. But yeah, none of us can just muscle through losing Cass and pretend it’s not affecting every single thing we do, or that we’ll be okay if we just keep going.”

“I can’t cry about Cass right now,” Noelle said, shaking herself off. “I will be all blotchy faced for the party, which I’m already going to be late to because of my hair. What am I going to do? About Miriam?”

“Talk to each other, like two grown-ups. Remember that there’s a gray area between ‘We had a fight’ and ‘We can never be together as long as we live.’ Schedule sessions with a counselor or a rabbi. I know a great one. Tell her you were wrong and listen to her.”

“You make it sound simple.”

Hannah threw back her head and laughed. “It’s going to be hard as hell. You’ve both got scars that go all the way down. You make each other better, and you set off each other’s landmines. It’s not going to tie up in a neat little bow. But if there are any two people I’m an expert in, it’s you and Miriam Blum, and I believe you can do it, and you’ll both be fools if you don’t try.”

If Hannah was going to make her talk about her feelings, it was only fair to return the favor. “Since you’ve apparently solved my love life, are you ready to talk about how the love of your life is apparently on an Australian TV show right now?” Noelle asked.