“Careful,” Anamae said. She stepped away and laughed, tossing her curly hair over her shoulders. “Carmel latte,” she said, handing me a go-cup from Grinds. Her almond-shaped eyes found what I still held in my hand, and she squealed loudly. “Ooh, you got your tickets.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the coffee. “But don’t go nuts over the tickets. Victor and I are probably heading toward a breakup.”

“Shocker,” Anamae said, heavy sarcasm in her tone. “Maybe it’s because you barely act like you’re interested in him. He’s not naive. He notices.”

The thought of being with any boy other than James caused me to feel a little nauseous. This changed over to a sense of dread that grew as I pondered anything beyond a kiss. Was that why Victor had said time apart would do us good? The words came out before I realized I was asking the question out loud.

“Is Victor pressuring me to go further?”

Anamae tilted her head to the side, thrown by the question. “No. He’s Victor. He wouldn’t do that. But why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you know if you’re being pressured?”

Those who were living in a shifted reality had an advantage. Gaps were closed, making the switch seamless. It was probably easy to live around a hole that one never knew existed. And when I returned, everything went back to the way it was. For them, at least.

But in my own experience, coming back to a shifted reality was disorienting. I didn’t know where to step. No matter how careful I was, I was bound to make mistakes. The burden of carrying all of this around by myself was finally too much.

“Oh, Anamae,” I sobbed.

After taking my coffee, she placed both cups on my dresser and then sat beside me on the floor. Wrapping her arms around me, she held me like a tiny doll. She didn’t ask questions, didn’t utter a sound. Only waited silently until my ugly cry ended. Even after that, she held me a few minutes more for good measure.

“It’s okay,” she said. “You can’t force this thing with Victor. Maybe you guys aren’t meant to be any more than best friends. It will be all right. There will be other boys.”

There already is, I thought.