“Lola?” Scarlett’s mom’s eyes were a bit red, and it sounded like keeping an even tone took effort. “Why don’t you go ahead?”

“We already know,” Spencer said. “You two are back together. We’ve accepted it. All I want to know is…does this change the being-nice-to-Chip rule? Because I think that was just when you two were broken up.”

“She didn’t say that,” Scarlett said.

“Traitor.”

“Guys,” their dad said.

“I think it was pretty clear,” Scarlett cut in.

“We’re on the same side here.”

“Guys!” he said again, more firmly.

“Come on, Lo,” Spencer said. “What’s the ruling? Be kind, for the sake of my sanity. I had a really bad day.”

“You have to be nice,” Lola said. “All the time. Because…”

“All the time?” Spencer said in disgust.

Lola looked to their parents helplessly, as if she needed assistance thinking up a comeback to her brother. Scarlett’s mom raised her hand in a gentle “go on” motion.

“Because,” Lola repeated, “he’s my husband.”

Lola Makes A Joke

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ACT IV

Gothammag.com

THE MOST HATED MAN IN NEW YORK

When I meet Spencer Martin in the lobby of his family’s small Upper East Side hotel, he’s doing a handstand. A slightly younger girl with wild blonde curls stands next to him. From upside-down, he asks me to wait just a moment over by the desk.

“Remember,” he says to the girl, “go slow.”

The girl lifts her foot, and pauses.

“You’ve got it,” he says, shifting his weight from arm to arm, steadying himself. “Don’t worry. What’s the worst that can happen?”

I’m about to ask what’s going on when the girl swings her leg back and appears to kick Martin directly in the face. I’m not sure what to do—call for help, call the police, or join her. Right now, a lot of people around New York think kicking Spencer Martin in the face is a very, very good idea.

Martin comes crashing to the floor, landing with a loud smack, sprawled in all directions. I’ve just decided that the correct thing to do is come to his aid, when he sits up.

“I think that works,” he says, getting off the floor, completely uninjured. He puts an arm around the girl’s shoulders. “This is Scarlett. She’s my sister. She’s still mad at me for shooting Sonny.”

This is all the explanation I get for the scene I’ve just witnessed.