Turning herself around in the water, she realized she hadn’t come very far at all. She could still make out Xanthe’s face, a friendly arm extended and waving gently at her. She doggy-paddled her way back to where she could feel rocks under foot again and told herself she was a fucking idiot.

She was surprised at how quickly her skin dried off. Xanthe received her back to their picnic with smiling silence. There were vine leaves and flatbread unwrapped from waxy wrappers waiting for her, and she filled her mouth gratefully.

‘Listen, mate. I went too far there. You must be wondering what sort of psychopath you’ve given houseroom to. Honestly, I’m not – I’m not a risk.’

‘I didn’t think you were, Sam. I’d be more worried if you seemed absolutely fine about the whole thing.’

‘I just don’t know how I’m supposed to go about rebuilding myself now. What does a person do?’

Xanthe breathed out, reached into her bag and lit a cigarette.

‘It takes time, and it takes a lot of strength. You just need to be sure enough of yourself to have something to hold on to.’

Sam hadn’t smoked since she’d had Debbie, but something about the smell, out here in the sunshine, was making her reconsider. She motioned to the packet and Xanthe nodded, exhaled, continued.

‘Talking from personal experience, the main thing I found was not to let it bury you. Keeping a good hold of your self, your selfhood. If you’ve got that you can fight for it.’

‘Oh God. I don’t know if I have any more.’

‘Well, you’re here. You did this. I think you still do, Sammi. Honestly. And treat yourself like a pressure valve. You’ve got to, got to let it out. Got to have some sort of release. Someone to talk to, something to punch. There has to be something. Remember how angry I was in my twenties? I felt all the time like a coiled spring, one wrong touch away from … boom. No pressure valve.’

They stared at the sea for a second and then Xanthe steered them away.

‘I can’t say I’m surprised; what you’re saying about Clio. She was always a bit of a forceful one. Took no prisoners. I was following the case through the English papers here and I did wonder why there was so much focus on her. I mean, I get it, she’s sort of famous, and the rest of you were staying anonymous, but – well, her and Mark—’

‘Ha! They didn’t like each other. Too fucking similar. Other people were just fucking collateral damage. For both of them.’

‘Well. She certainly liked us to be an attentive audience.’