Back in the dining room, Eileen was, as Clio had promised, prinking and even giggling under Mansfield’s determined attention. His own dinner companion was locked into conversation with whoever was at her right, and, relieved, he settled down to eat his soup. Clio was out of the room for a long time, and for a while he thought he was the only one who had noticed. The new groom finally cast a glance round, patted his mother-in-law gently on the wrist and excused himself. Mother Mansfield picked up the conversation, which Donald couldn’t quite make out, but Eileen’s face closed right down again, her mouth tight and tiny, choking out monosyllables. He suddenly felt exhausted, by all of them. The happy couple returned to the room, her arms fidgeting around his shoulders, his hand on her waist, steering her back into her seat. She was giggling; he was neutral. Donald looked down and tried to concentrate on his beef. For all its fanciness, the food was tasty enough, he’d give it that.

A chinking of teaspoon on glass and they all hushed, looking to the centre obediently, except Eileen, who was jerking her head round to see what had happened. Mansfield rose up out of his seat, jacket off, sleeves rolled and a wine-flush across his cheeks.

‘Hello. You all know me – I’m a man of few words.’

No one around the table reacted as though this was in any way true. The brother actually sniggered.

‘So I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Speaking for myself and my beautiful wife, I’m delighted that you’ve all managed to come here today, whether you travelled half an hour up the road or have made it an overnight stay.’ Here he bowed, quickly, to both Donald and Eileen. ‘It’s wonderful to be surrounded by so much love on this, our very special day.’

The whole thing had been rehearsed and memorized, even just for a performance in front of family, Donald realized, as Danny choked slightly over that odd ‘very’. It was a speech written for a much larger audience.

‘I’d also just like to say a huge thank you to the other most special woman in my life, my little mum, who has organized a beautiful and intimate wedding for us at record speed.’ Polite applause.

‘On that note – I’m aware that a lot of you were, ah, rather surprised at how quickly this has all happened. It’s true that Clio and I haven’t been a couple for long. And I just want to take this opportunity to reassure all of you right now that there’s no baby on the way –’ Clio began to raise her glass ‘– yet!’ The Mansfields round the table brayed and cheered. Eileen was looking at Clio, who had put her glass back down and resumed her vague stare up at her husband.