He doesn’t give me any warning before he eases himself inside of me. I gasp, my body bucking upwards, but he catches me and cushions my spine against the cold marble.

He fucks me slowly, with his face pressed up against the nape of my neck. Every breath steams my skin. I watch us in the mirror the whole time, transfixed.

It’s mesmerizing to witness our bodies locked together, moving back and forth in a rhythm, to the beat of a song that only we can hear.

It’s a slow burn. The orgasm builds so slowly that it takes me by surprise when I feel it on the cusp of breaking. I moan loudly, forcing Kolya to look down at me.

For the first time, I stop looking at us, and I look at him.

The beautiful clean lines of his face. The way his jaw feels like it could cut me wide open. The way his eyes seem to brighten and darken at the same time.

“Kolya…”

I whisper his name as the orgasm explodes through my body.

He shudders a second later, filling me with all of him. He thrusts into me a few more times and then his body relaxes. When he has nothing left to give, he rolls off and settles at my side before pulling me tucked against him.

He runs his free hand down between my breasts until he lands on my belly. A single fingertip caresses my little bump gently.

As the aftermath of the orgasm wears off, I look into the mirrors and see… something.

This time, though, it’s not the beautiful ideal I was clinging to. It’s the stark reality of our situation.

I am a washed-up dancer with a torn-up leg and lost dreams. I’m lying next to the don of a powerful Bratva. A man who killed his father. A man who also happens to be the uncle of the baby I’m carrying.

We may look perfect together…

But we’re anything but.

And if I stay with him any longer, I’m going to lose sight of that fact.

“Let’s get you up to your room,” Kolya says, rising to his feet and turning to retrieve my slip and robe.

Something glints at me from the floor, right next to Kolya’s pants. His car keys. His back is still to me, which means I have a fraction of a second to make the decision.

I reach out and grab the keys. I keep them hidden as I accept my bundle of clothes from him and dress quickly.

I don’t know yet if I’m going to use them.

I just want the option.

22

JUNE

He stays with me.

My bed feels full with him in it. I sit up for an hour and watch him sleep. It stops raining around the time I finally admit to myself that my love for him is real.

I did love Adrian. Hell, maybe a part of me still does. But I can see now how frail and weak my love for him was, compared to what I feel for Kolya.