and so I lived my life oscillating between the delights of school and the joys of my family during the middle school years I almost never left the house and not only because I was attending school in Aversa but also because my father didn’t want me to have anything to do with people from our town so I was always alone except when I went to Aversa after school I went to the house of a classmate of mine Antonio who liked to be called Tony the only friend I managed to make and who ultimately proved to be an asshole a traitor this guy Tony was a boy from Aversa whom I met during my second year in middle school and who often invited me over to his house to study together after school this boy since I was the classic model student that is I studied and studied and studied took advantage of me to the point that I actually wound up doing his homework for him occasionally until the following year there was another student in our class who was an even better student than I was and who was even needier emotionally than I was and Tony dumped me for him and even moved his seat Tony used to sit next to me but then he moved over to sit next to the other kid who was a harder working student than me and got better grades and did all of Tony’s homework for him so then I didn’t have a friend at all and I had no place to go in the afternoon after school and I had to just go back home right away and I was even lonelier than before

when I was twelve I started to become aware of the existence of girls I noticed this aspect of life because I was head over heels in love with the girl who sat in front of me she was the daughter of the Italian teacher Professoressa Minimo the one who talked about blue jeans that one time so for me it was impossible to think even of dating her or revealing the nobility and depth of my feelings for her it was impossible even to speak to her to say ciao to her because she ignored me entirely overlooked me as if I were a turd in the street a gigantic turd the problem is that when you start to think that everyone is a turd except for you you have to start wondering whether the real turd is you after all and you really start to believe it and you never leave your house and you don’t see anyone and so everything comes to an end your nice friendship with this treasonous turd Tony comes to an end Tony who replaced me with a better student and I couldn’t find friends anymore I stopped looking at girls and I just never left the house I never saw anybody anymore