Idhika refused to meet Aman’s eyes. ‘There’s a reason why everyone knows this song, why Father and I have both loved and hated it . . . Because it reminds us of Mother. And why she had to leave us forever . . . The Song of the Valley talks about the “blue rose” of the valley. The Eka.’

Fayza’s stomach was in knots. Payal put a hand on Aman’s shoulder.

‘There’s a reason, Aman,’ Idhika said, ‘why very early on the Eka is exempted from the laws of the valley; why they are allowed to build a conjugal bond with a partner and even allowed an offspring. Like my mother was. Because the Eka deserves to leave behind a piece of themselves in the world. Because the Eka is a flower . . . a blue rose . . . who must eventually “wither”. It is the only way to gather Madhu, to execute that last step . . . The lord chose you for this duty.’

Idhika stood up and walked over to Aman. Her face was red, and she bit her lip. She fell on her knees in front of him, took both his hands in her palms and broke down. Her voice croaked. ‘That’s why I was trying to call a truce with Chayan earlier . . . I was scared witless. I didn’t want to die!’

Aman’s face turned pale. It dawned upon him that there were no surviving Ekas in Vanyasa. He looked at Fayza with the eyes of a frightened child, unable to understand how his life had suddenly careened out of control.

The others looked on protectively at Aman, who stayed silent. The night was long and unforgiving.

29

Indra

‘I’ll be fine!’ Aman’s hand waved dismissively. He stood up and started towards the deodar trees. ‘Need to be by myself . . .’

He didn’t know where he was going or what he was going to do. But he walked fast. There was barely a thing in his head, only the tune of the Song.

He strode into the trees and stumbled past fallen pinecones. The further he distanced himself from the others, the louder the wheezing in his throat became. His legs were growing weaker. Unable to hold himself up any longer, he stumbled to the forest floor beside a large boulder. He sat there, shaking like a leaf. Suddenly, Fayza emerged, still carrying the cloth bag.

‘Aman, listen to me,’ she said. ‘None of this is right. It’s just—it doesn’t make sense. I mean, the valley’s system is flawed. There is no “duty” here . . . You don’t have to do this—no one should have to do this . . . I know it seems like you can’t get out of this, that the stakes are too high, but you can!’

He looked down, refusing to let her see his tear-streaked face. She was always good at saying the right things, but nothing could help him.

An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Moments later, he lifted his head. ‘I don’t want to die.’