“What?” she asked groggily. Lauren hadn’t forgotten she was in the dark room, but she’d kind of zoned away from the now.

“There’s nothing wrong with rage,” Clancy repeated. “It’s primal.”

Lauren sniffed. “My doctor says it’s not even a real emotion.”

“Of course it’s real.” He scoffed. “People just say that stuff to keep you down.”

He was drumming on her back with the sides of his hands now. “Like, because women aren’t supposed to be angry?” Lauren asked experimentally.

“Because people don’t want anyone to be angry. Anger is hate! Anger is guns! But anger is also real and therapeutic and sometimes feels good—sometimes, it gets to the root. You know?”

“I think so,” Lauren said in a small voice.

“Well.” Clancy slid the sheet over her back so she could turn over. “Personally, I feel like people should be talking about rage more, not less. It’s all this bottling up that’s making the whole country go nuts. Of course, as long as you aren’t hurting anybody, you know? Then I say be as mad as you want.”

“Yeah,” Lauren said softly.

A butterfly stretched its wings inside her chest. This was the kind of permission she was looking for—not Gracie Lord’s self-aggrandizing self-care bullshit. Something else Clancy said made her feel better, too. Say this note she’d received in Matthew’s backpack did have something to do with her rage. Say someone had seen her lash out in public and took things the wrong way. Or say Lauren had had an outburst in a Silver Swans interview and then forgot about it, as Graham pointed out she was prone to doing lately. It was possible she’d dug her own grave and didn’t even know it! Hell, maybe that was what Piper’s lapdog assistant, Carson, had even been whispering to Piper about at the breakfast.

Of course Piper was concerned. Of course they wouldn’t want an irrationally furious person in their midst. But that wasn’t what was going on with Lauren. Maybe if she just explained herself, if she came forward with her diagnosis, Piper would sympathize. Piper was a parent, too. She had hormones. And Lauren was trying really fucking hard.

In fact, in fact! Maybe if Lauren wrote the email just right, Piper would be inspired . . . and she’d feature Lauren in the documentary. Think of all the people she could reach. The suffering mothers, angry and frustrated.

After another hour, she was sliding her robe back on feeling just as motivated. Her fingers curled around her phone. On her lock screen was a picture of baby Matthew with a gleeful, gummy smile. Lauren’s fingers were a little oily, so it took a few tries to dial the Silver Swans main number. After a prompt, Lauren reached Piper Jovan’s office.