“It was rough. I had a girlfriend, Debbie, and I talked to her about shit. I didn’t want to burden Tiny’s family with our nightmare. His wife, Wynnie, is a psychologist, and she talked with my mom a lot. She offered to talk with me or connect me with another therapist, but I wasn’t into that. I’d been working on the ranch since I was fourteen to make a few extra bucks to help out with the bills. I baled hay and cleaned stalls to get that shit out of my system. My mom’s boss at the Roadhouse, Alice, would bring dinners by and offer to take my mom to her treatments. But she was my mother, my responsibility. I took her for treatments and cared for her when she got sick. When she went into remission, we thought she beat it. But about a year later she was getting short of breath, and we found out the cancer had spread to her lungs.”

Tears dampened Tracey’s eyes. “Oh, Diesel, you must have been devastated.”

“We were. But my mom put up a brave front. She never cried in front of me. Even when she went downhill. The treatments took their toll, and the meds made her blow up like a balloon. The pain had to be unbearable, but she was so damn strong.”

His jaw muscles bunched and she reached for his hand, but he lifted her into his lap, putting his arms around her. “I haven’t even said her name in years until tonight. That feels like a betrayal, like she wasn’t important. But she was. She is.” He spoke low, his voice full of pain. “I want you to know about her, Trace, because you’re important, too.”

Tracey opened her mouth to speak, but her man of few words had rendered her momentarily speechless. She finally managed, “You’re important to me, too.”

He kissed her then, slow and sweet, and she felt another change happening, a door opening a little wider, a chance for them to get closer.

“You should say your mom’s name, talk about her, relive the good times, and even if it’s hard, think about the painful memories, too. Otherwise you’ve buried her whole life with her, and it sounds like she worked hard to make it a good life for both of you. You don’t have to talk about her now if you don’t want to, but I know what it’s like to miss someone and to try not to think about her. It’s really hard, so when you’re ready, I’d love to hear more and see more pictures if you have them. I bet little Dezzie was adorable.”