This is not the first time Cate has seen Neale’s parents since the assault, and she is getting tired of being thanked by them. Hero is a single-dimension entity. She’d like to go back to being Neale’s friend with a million aspects and reference points and a long history with their family. She knows Rose and Arthur are traumatized by what happened to Neale, and she could probably help by giving them a version with a pastel filter. They would probably see through it but maybe be comforted nonetheless. But she can’t come up with any version of those events, not even the true one, because of the redaction of her memory. She suddenly needs to be out of this house as much as Neale does. She asks her, “You still want to go look at tiles for Frida’s kitchen?”

This is the last step in the renovation/obliteration of Neale’s kitchen, finding the right floor tiles.

When they’re in the car, on their way to Home Depot, Neale says, “What about Tile City? Wouldn’t they have a bigger selection? I mean, doesn’t their name suggest a stronger mission?”

“They might. But what they don’t have is a woman who’s in charge of the floor-covering department. She’s helped me before.” Neale smiles. It’s the first time Cate has seen her smile in a long time.

“You’re so cute. Your little lesbo map of the city.” Then, a few beats later, “Look. I’m not telling my parents about this.” She pulls a small automatic out of her backpack.

“Oh, Jesus.”

“I know what you’re thinking. That people like us don’t have guns. But now I’m part of a new population. People like us who’ve been attacked in their homes, where their kid also lives.”

“Do you even know how to use it?”

“I took a lesson at the gun shop. I have four more to go.”

“I know I need to talk with you about this, but not just yet. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so far from your thinking.”

Neale slides the gun back into her bag, then tacks away from the gun and starts talking tile. “I think we want a pattern.”

“How much do you think about it, about what happened?” Cate says.

“An easier question would be how much do I not think about it.”