“Did you actually look at that sketch I gave you?”

Tears wet my eyes.

He’d been in love with me since high school.

“Yeah, Carrie,” he answered. “It’s you. It’s always been you. It’ll always be you. Fuckin’ always.”

Aaron had said that more than once, and each time until the last I’d convinced myself to believe it.

Now Joker said it and I knew the difference immediately.

I didn’t have to convince myself of anything.

“Can I… can I…?” I started talking at the same time blubbering, “Are you angry with me?”

“Outside of wishin’ you’d told me what you were up to so if you needed that, I coulda watched, no.”

I kept blubbering but also started giggling.

“Now, Butterfly, tell me something,” he demanded.

“Wh-what?” I asked through laughter and tears.

“You go out with the girls anyway?”

I nodded, pulling in breath to control my contradictory emotions.

“We had cosmos.” I lifted my hand. “And I got ice for my hand.”

His jaw went hard and I thought I knew why.

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “Elvira got me ice really quickly. It feels a little tight but it’s fine.”

His eyes came to mine and my heart stopped.

“You’re tellin’ me you went out with your girls to get drinks wearin’ that top?”

“Um…” I mumbled.

“Um?” he pushed, tipping his head to the side.

“Only one guy bought me a drink,” I shared.

His face changed.

Wrong thing to say!

“Tabby told him I was Chaos immediately,” I went on quickly.

“Come here,” he growled.

I was two feet away.

“I am here, Carson.”

“Come… here.”

I stared at him debating the merits of walking those two feet.

Then I did it debating the merits of not walking those two feet.

I walked those two feet.

Joker lifted his hand instantly, hooked a finger in the top of my tube top and slid it across.

My legs started shaking.

“There’s clothes for when you go out with your girls,” he said softly. “And there’s clothes for when you go out with your man. Do I have to explain that fully, or do you get me?”

“I get you,” I whispered.

He ran his finger back but stopped midway and dipped it in the space between my breasts.

My lips parted.

“Your hand really okay?” he asked.

I nodded, focusing on standing and breathing rather than speaking.

“Good, baby,” he tipped his head toward me, “’cause you’re gonna need to use it.”

Oh yes.

I ran my teeth over my lower lip.

Joker watched.

I shivered while he watched.

And when I was done with my teeth and the shiver, he tugged on my tube top until I was pressed against him.

Then finally, he slanted his head and kissed me.

* * *

Dawn was kissing the sky.

The wind was in my hair.

My arms were around Joker’s stomach.