I snuggled closer, with my arm wrapped around him pulling him to me as I did, and I tipped my eyes over his throat to the red light lit on his nightstand. Where he’d put it. So, even though we slept cuddled, the baby monitor was still closer to him so he’d be sure to hear if Travis needed us.

Us.

Us.

That thought almost made me cry too.

But I didn’t.

Because it was done.

In that moment I knew it was finally over.

I’d lost Althea. I’d lost Mom. To deal with the pain and make sure I lost nothing else, I’d put blinders on, made my mistakes, and then my dream had died.

But now the loss was over.

The blinders were off.

And I had Travis.

Then I got Joker.

And he gave me Chaos.

So it was done.

I was done losing.

And in being done, eyes open, facing ahead, back straight, head in the game, I was ready to win.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A Biker Named Joker

Carissa

EARLY THE NEXT afternoon, I was wandering the living room/dining room area, bouncing my son, who was bawling.

Joker walked in from the kitchen with a fresh soda in his hand and I stopped, looked to him, still bouncing, and declared, “I don’t get it. He’s had his nap, it was shorter than normal, but that’s never a big thing with him. Still, he woke up fussy. He ate his food then was cranky. But he’s had his food, his diaper is clean, he’s been bathed. He can get grouchy his first day back from his dad’s, but not like this.” I looked down at Travis and finished on a mutter, “Maybe he’s not feeling well. He’s got another tooth coming in. Maybe that’s it.”

Travis had no answer, except to keep crying loudly.

My head came up when I felt Joker get close.

“New place, Butterfly,” he said over Travis’s blubbering. “This time, he’s got more to get used to. New room. New space. Away from his dad’s.”

This made sense, and I wondered why I hadn’t thought of that.

Joker set his can on the dining room table, pulled my boy out of my arms, and walked away, also bouncing him.

I watched as he bent to Travis’s toy basket and picked it up. Then I watched as he came back and dumped the entire thing across the floor behind the couch.

At that, Travis jumped slightly in his arms, shoved his fist in his mouth, stopped bawling, started sniveling, and gave Joker’s actions his complete attention seeing as Travis was always up for making a mess of pretty much anything.