Chapters (47)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Acknowledgment
- Translator’s Introduction
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- About the Author
- Other Titles
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“I’m ill,” he went on.
“No!” she exclaimed in genuine fear.
“I’m not fit for marriage.”
She stared at him, stunned.
“Don’t let my appearance deceive you…My illness is not fatal, but it makes it impossible for me to marry.”
He looked down in distress. The sharp sigh he heard transfixed his heart. He was on the point of casting off the shackles of his ambition, throwing himself down and kissing her feet and begging her to accept him as husband. But another force held him back and paralyzed him.
“I’ve spared no effort. I’ve been to more than one doctor. I never lost hope, or else I would have told you a long time ago. But it’s no use. I should put an end to my selfishness, otherwise I will have destroyed your future forever.”
“But how could I live without you?”
“You’re still young. The wounds of youth are quick to heal.”
“I can’t believe it. It must be a nightmare.”
“It wouldn’t be wise for us to carry on together any longer.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Sudden disasters are always hard to believe, but life sometimes seems a series of sudden disasters. What matters is that you should find your way before it’s too late.”
“What do you want to do?” Her voice broke with anguish.
“We should stop traveling up a dead end.”
“I can’t.”
“It’s got to be done. It would be sheer madness to continue.”
He avoided her eyes. He had carried out his plan successfully to the end. But success was harsh, and he now found himself alone in a wilderness of desolation, alone with his anguish and shame, without faith, without solace. Madness was the only way out, he told himself. Madness alone had room for both belief and disbelief, glory and shame, love and deceit, truthfulness and lies. For how could sanity stand the absurdity of life? How could he look up at the stars when he was sunk up to the neck in slime? Through the long night he wept and wept.
TWENTY-NINE
It seemed that a gleam of light sought to pierce the dark clouds. He learned that Onsiyya Ramadan had become engaged to Husayn Jamil. He delighted in this happy development which made him feel secure at last, and he said to himself, “Now I can mourn for my lost love with my mind at rest and no apprehensions to bother me. I can drink out of the well of anguish until it runs dry and I gain my freedom. And in this I’m an expert.”