Back Red Pottage Save as PDF
Contents ( 120)
  1. RED POTTAGE
  2. * * *
  3. MARY CHOLMONDELEY
  4. *
  5. Contents
  6. *
  7. *
  8. Chapter I
  9. *
  10. Chapter II
  11. *
  12. Chapter III
  13. *
  14. Chapter IV
  15. *
  16. Chapter V
  17. *
  18. Chapter VI
  19. *
  20. Chapter VII
  21. *
  22. Chapter VIII
  23. *
  24. Chapter IX
  25. *
  26. Chapter X
  27. *
  28. Chapter XI
  29. *
  30. Chapter XII
  31. *
  32. Chapter XIII
  33. *
  34. Chapter XIV
  35. *
  36. Chapter XV
  37. *
  38. Chapter XVI
  39. *
  40. Chapter XVII
  41. *
  42. Chapter XVIII
  43. *
  44. Chapter XIX
  45. *
  46. Chapter XX
  47. *
  48. Chapter XXI
  49. *
  50. Chapter XXII
  51. *
  52. Chapter XXIII
  53. *
  54. Chapter XXIV
  55. *
  56. Chapter XXV
  57. *
  58. Chapter XXVI
  59. *
  60. Chapter XXVII
  61. *
  62. Chapter XXVIII
  63. *
  64. Chapter XXIX
  65. *
  66. Chapter XXX
  67. *
  68. Chapter XXXI
  69. *
  70. Chapter XXXII
  71. *
  72. Chapter XXXIII
  73. *
  74. Chapter XXXIV
  75. *
  76. Chapter XXXV
  77. *
  78. Chapter XXXVI
  79. *
  80. Chapter XXXVII
  81. *
  82. Chapter XXXVIII
  83. *
  84. Chapter XXXIX
  85. *
  86. Chapter XL
  87. *
  88. Chapter XLI
  89. *
  90. Chapter XLII
  91. *
  92. Chapter XLIII
  93. *
  94. Chapter XLIV
  95. *
  96. Chapter XLV
  97. *
  98. Chapter XLVI
  99. *
  100. Chapter XLVII
  101. *
  102. Chapter XLVIII
  103. *
  104. Chapter XLIX
  105. *
  106. Chapter L
  107. *
  108. Chapter LI
  109. *
  110. Chapter LII
  111. *
  112. Chapter LIII
  113. *
  114. Conclusion
  115. *
  116. Postscript
  117. *
  118. * * *
  119. Endnotes
  120. *

Presently Lady Newhaven dried her eyes and turned impulsively towards her.

The strata of impulsiveness and conventional feeling were always so mixed up after one of these emotional upheavals that it was difficult to guess which would come uppermost. Sometimes fragments of both appeared on the surface together.

"I loved you from the first moment I saw you," she said. "I don't take fancies to people, you know. I am not that kind of person. I am very difficult to please, and I never speak of what concerns myself. I am most reserved. I dare say you have noticed how reserved I am. I live in my shell. But directly I saw you I felt I could talk to you. I said to myself, 'I will make a friend of that girl.' Although I always feel a married woman is so differently placed from a girl. A girl only thinks of herself. I am not saying this the least unkindly, but, of course, it is so. Now a married woman has to consider her husband and family in all she says and does. How will it affect them? That is what I so often say to myself, and then my lips are sealed. But, of course, being unmarried, you would not understand that feeling."

Rachel did not answer. She was inured to this time-honored conversational opening.

"And the temptations of married life," continued Lady Newhaven—"a girl cannot enter into them."

"Then do not tell me about them," said Rachel, smiling, wondering if she might still escape. But Lady Newhaven had no intention of letting her go. She only wished to indicate to her her true position. And gradually, not without renewed outbursts of tears, not without traversing many layers of prepared conventional feelings, in which a few thin streaks of genuine emotion wore embedded, she told her story—the story of a young, high-minded, and neglected wife, and of a husband callous, indifferent, a scorner of religion, unsoftened even by the advent of the children—"such sweet children, such little darlings"—and the gradual estrangement. Then came the persistent siege to the lonely heart of one not pretty, perhaps, but fatally attractive to men; the lonely heart's unparalleled influence for good over the besieger.

"He would do anything," said Lady Newhaven, looking earnestly at Rachel. "My influence over him is simply boundless. If I said, as I sometimes did at balls, how sorry I was to see some plain girl standing out, he would go and dance with her. I have seen him do it."

"I suppose he did it to please you."

"That was just it, simply to please me."

Rachel was not so astonished as Lady Newhaven expected. She certainly was rather wooden, the latter reflected. The story went on. It became difficult to tell, and, according to the teller, more and more liable to misconstruction. Rachel's heart ached as bit by bit the inevitable development was finally reached in floods of tears.

"And you remember that night you were at an evening party here," sobbed Lady Newhaven, casting away all her mental notes and speaking extempore. "It is just a fortnight ago, and I have not slept since, and he was here, looking so miserable"—(Rachel started slightly)—"he sometimes did, if he thought I was hard upon him. And afterwards, when every one had gone, Edward took him to his study and told him he had found us out, and they drew lots which should kill himself within five months—and I listened at the door."