“He’s considering a few people. I think he wants someone with strategy experience but no political history. Fresh blood, he keeps saying. In this climate we need someone who can manage crisis—media attacks and blowups.” Her aunt chattered on as Ashna dressed for bed.

“Anyway, hanging out at Curried Dreams will be fun. It will also give me an opportunity to have lunch with Shree.” Ashna’s uncle worked right down the street at Stanford. “I haven’t done lunch dates with him in a while. And here I am always going on about how you can’t let your marriage sag like old breasts. This is going to be fabulous!”

“I love you, Mina Kaki.” Ashna was smiling when she crawled into bed.

That. That was how you did motherhood.

Chapter Eleven

Shobi stepped aside to avoid the passing camel on Juhu Beach on her morning walk. She couldn’t let her contemplation of how one got motherhood right cause her to get trampled by an animal. Although at this point, death by camel seemed like her best chance at getting Ashi’s attention.

The sun was barely peeking out from over the ocean’s edge, but the sky was already pink and orange, heralding its arrival. Shobi loved her morning walks. Getting here before five A.M. was the only way to avoid the crowds. Good thing sleeping past five A.M. wasn’t for a mind like hers.

Not that Shobi had a problem with crowds. Being able to withdraw into yourself amid the hordes was something that became coded into your DNA early when you took birth on this soil. It was the essence of being Indian. Even living in a palace didn’t afford you solitude. Not that physical isolation had anything to do with peace.

After her conversation with Ashi there was no peace to be had, even though there were only a few stray walkers on the beach.

A mother-daughter pair waved at Shobi as they walked by, both in running shorts and T-shirts. A pang of envy mixed with yearning tugged at her as she waved back and took in their easy camaraderie.

They did the usual perusal of Shobi’s cotton sari as they passed. She didn’t feel judged. Choosing to live in saris was a decision she had made a long time ago. She had fought the blameless six yards of fabric so hard during her initial years in Sripore, and then wearing them had felt like claiming herself during her time in America with Bram. Why did women do this, use clothing as a tool in their battle against society?

Because you took whatever tools you were given, that’s why.

America. Where she had used her clothing to embrace her identity but lost her child.