Her hand went to her phone. She had no idea what she was doing when she dialed Shobi’s number. Hindi rap burst from the speaker instead of a ring and Ashna hung up, realizing that she couldn’t remember the last time she had called Shobi.

Anger pulsed inside her. The constant, inexhaustible anger at Shobi, at Rico. Every single time she walked away from him, she felt like she had walked through fire, and the flames had burned off her clothes, leaving her naked, her flesh blistered.

The memory of his hands wrapped around hers lingered like a phantom touch. The solidity of his arm beneath her fingers every time they walked into the studio had become a phantom crutch. Why had she taken strength from it? How had she let it soften her?

Soften her enough that she’d exposed herself to him and he’d used it to strike at her.

How dare he talk to her about fighting for things? She’d fought so hard for him that she’d pushed her own father over the edge. In return he’d left her.

It didn’t matter that he regretted it now, because obviously, he did. It didn’t matter that he saw right to the center of her. That he remembered everything she’d been, everything she’d wanted so badly to be.

She’d shared so much with him. What it was like to grow up in Sagar Mahal, a child alone in a palace. Parts of her she’d never shared with anyone else. But it had felt essential for Rico to know about the home she’d grown up in. Especially because she had never been able to let him into her real home.

Have you ever thought about what it means to hide what’s important to you from those you love?

The look on his face when he’d shown up at the restaurant one evening out of the blue had never stopped haunting her. The hurt in his eyes when she’d walked away from him without acknowledging him had burned inside her all weekend. The terror that she’d lost him, the certainty of it, had been worse than anything she’d ever experienced.

How could she have acknowledged him? It had been one of their busiest days, and Baba lay drunk in a room upstairs, unable to move.

As Rico had stood there, eyes expectant and probing, waiting for her to unfreeze, Baba had soiled himself. Tara, one of the hostesses, had whispered the news in Ashna’s ear with Rico watching.