I loved the fall. Loved to see Main Street decorated with lights, the sky turning moodier, the air crisp.

I loved the hot chocolates I served at the bakery, almost thick enough to be classed as a soup, inspired by the famous Angelina’s hot chocolate in Paris that almost single-handedly made me gain five pounds.

I loved curling up with a good book while it stormed outside, my house encasing me in a warm hug.

Loved the fire pit nights with my girlfriends.

The holidays themselves were more complicated.

There were no family gatherings for me. I’d never experienced one in my life. No Christmas dinner surrounded by family, no home that smelled of turkey and stuffing. Not even a Christmas tree.

Though I loved to decorate and used any excuse to, I did not do it for the holidays. Not when they reminded me of what I didn’t have.

Most years, Tina, Fiona, Tiffany and I ate Thanksgiving dinner together, and then Fiona and I spent Christmas together since Tina and Tiffany spent it with Tina’s family. Ansel was there sometimes, but only if he could get away. Only if he’d found the energy to battle with our mother, finagle his way out of whatever she had planned.

Maybe that was why I was so bitter about the holidays… because I didn’t get my brother on those days that were meant to be about family, because my toxic mother had her claws in much too deep.

Despite trying really hard not to, I resented the brother I loved with all of my heart for being so strong in so many ways yet so weak when it came to her. Even though it was much more complicated than that. For my fragile heart it was.

“Want to cook dinner for you before we go upstairs and I fuck you in my bed,” Rowan murmured, jerking me out of my melancholy.

And it was a very nice way to be jerked from those thoughts.

“That sounds like a wonderful plan.”

He twirled me around, being careful of our wine. “You still holding on to today?” he asked with concern. “To whatever venom that bitch spouted?”

I smiled at how quickly Rowan transitioned from his post orgasm glow to the vengeful alpha once more.

“No,” I reassured him. “I’m not still holding on to that.”

He surveyed me for a long moment before nodding curtly and kissing me on the nose. “Good. I’m gonna go cook us dinner.” He motioned to the sofa. “You relax, read, whatever. Don’t have a TV but can get a laptop if you wanna watch somethin’.” He paused, tapping his lips. “We’ll have to get one so we can watch Yellowstone when we’re here.”

There was a lot to digest there, namely Rowan buying a television in order to watch a show with me. After our binge watching, it was safe to say he loved Yellowstone.

“You don’t have any TVs in the house?” I asked him in shock.