Jill was the heart of the household. Running around, adding finishing touches to the meal, sneaking her grandchildren treats, making sure to go out of her way to make me feel welcome.

Rowan was always at my side. Always touching me, kissing my temple, reassuring me that he was there, maybe worrying that this was going to be hard.

And I guessed, in a way, it was. That wound inside of me throbbed painfully, but not unbearably. And something else bloomed inside of me.

Hope.

Hope that I could be a part of this family.

“You deserve this, sis,” Ansel’s voice sounded from somewhere deep inside me.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Recipe: Classic Kiwi Pavlova

Christmas dinner was wonderful. The Derrick’s dining room featured a long table, every seat filled, the entire surface covered in delicious food.

“So, Nora,” Calliope said after we’d all sat down. “What was your brother like?”

There wasn’t the cliché moment where forks stopped clanging, when everything went still since death entered the conversation. Quite the opposite. People still reached over for this dish and that dish.

Kendra scolded Wyatt for trying to eat mashed potatoes with his hands.

Everyone continued going about their dinner table routines, but they were also listening too.

Rowan’s hand clutched my thigh, and I could feel his body tense up beside me. He was coiled, ready to jump to my defense, to protect me from the topic that could send me hurtling back into that pit of despair.

Although the question had surprised me, it didn’t unnerve me. Didn’t make me feel pain or awkwardness or even pitied. She’d asked the question because she was interested. They all were. They weren’t skirting around death, ignoring it. They were finding a way to bring my brother to the table with us.

Rowan, of course, did not see how thoughtful this was because he was in protective alpha mode.

Before he could say anything, I patted his hand and hoped he’d stop giving his sister his death glare.

“He was wonderful.” I laid my napkin on my lap. “He believed in crystals, chakras, lost ancient civilizations and was obsessed with UFOs.”

“Oh my god, I’m obsessed with UFOs too!” Kendra exclaimed. “We go to all the sights, but Roswell is a big letdown. Would not recommend it. Very depressing.”

I smiled because Ansel had said something similar.

“He was once arrested outside Area 51,” I chuckled.

“Tell us everything,” Kendra demanded.

And somehow, I did. I managed to talk about my brother in the past tense, keeping him alive the only way I could.

* * *

Between dinner and dessert was presents.

The gift exchange could’ve been awkward. Maybe with every other family, it would’ve been, but not with the Derricks.

It wasn’t awkward. It was wonderful, watching the children tear into their multiple presents with utter glee. Then when they ran off to play with their toys, the adults exchanged gifts with a little less glee, but not much.