Interestingly, I was the one who stayed calmest during the actual labor portion of the pregnancy.

Rowan, “ran around like a chicken with his head cut off,” Fiona described later.

He rushed us back to our place to get my hospital bag then raced around the house, muttering about needing our passports.

I had, underneath a laugh, told him we didn’t need our passports for me to give birth in the hospital twenty minutes away.

That treated me to an angry scowl. Well, until a contraction tore through my body. Then Rowan dropped everything and went into protective alpha mode, suddenly clearheaded and mission-driven.

My labor was painful. Horrendous actually. Especially since I was the idiot who wanted to do it ‘all natural.’

It killed Rowan to see me in that much pain without him being able to do anything but sit there, feeding me ice chips, brushing hair from my face, and holding my hand. He was there, barking at doctors and nurses, kissing me, speaking tenderly.

Then he was there to catch our daughter, Ana Jill Derrick. To be the first person to greet her into this world.

Although it might’ve been the pain, exhaustion, the emotions, I swore I felt Ansel in the room, right beside me.

“You deserve this, sis,” he said. “Your happily ever after.”

The wound inside of me healed just a little in that moment. And in the many moments after that, with my husband and my daughter. In our home. With our dog. My bakery. The countless visits from Rowan’s parents. The tumultuous marriage between our two best friends.

Though it wasn’t without drama or even pain, it was a happily ever after. Mine, at least.

Fiona’s was a different story.

Recipes

The Crisis Cake

• 1 ½ cups flour
• 1 ½ tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp baking soda
• ½ tsp salt
• 1/3 cup neutral oil (I use canola but coconut or grapeseed works too)
• 1/3 cup natural peanut butter (unsweetened)
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 2 eggs (cooled to room temp)
• 1 cup buttermilk (you can make your own with 1 cup milk & 1 Tbsp white vinegar or lemon juice and let sit for 5 min)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Method

Preheat the oven to 350 & grease a 9x3 round baking pan. Or two 6 inch pans for a double layer cake.

Sift the dry ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

Beat together peanut butter, oil and brown sugar until creamy. Add eggs one at a time then add the vanilla.

Alternate adding the dry ingredients and buttermilk to peanut butter mixture. Beat until just combined.

Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 30 mins or until a toothpick inserted comes out moist and cake springs back.

Let cake sit in the pan for five minutes and then set on a rack to cool completely.

Double Chocolate Frosting

• One stick of butter
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3 snack size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
• 3/12 - 4 cups powdered sugar
• 2/3 cup heavy cream
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• Pinch of salt