We slept in the dining hall because apparently you could order bedding, toiletries, and other items, and the servers would bring it along. With that in mind, we swapped out our sheets for clean clothing, and I somehow managed not to ask for a vibrator, just to see how far I could push it.

The next morning, after breakfast and finding a bathroom to pee and wash up, I was ready to return to Shadow. In truth, I’d never left Shadow, at least not in my mind. It had been near impossible to sleep knowing he was so close… and yet still so far away.

Gaster and Sam waited near the barrier as I crept closer, and I expected that I’d be unable to venture through without some real power this time, and I was absolutely correct. My beast had ramped up all his securities overnight. Shadow was somewhat predictable when it came to protecting his power base, and his more animalistic form was no doubt worse than ever.

Sparks shot at me when I got closer, but I just brought fire to my skin and sent my power back in response. At the familiar burn across my body, I tilted my head back to enjoy the sensation.

My power had been locked away from me most of my life, but after being in Torma again, I looked at my energy differently. Knowing the reason my father had attacked the alpha, the reason his paranoia had grown until he’d felt he’d had no choice but to force Victor’s hand, had changed my perspective. I still had questions, that I hoped to talk to Shadow about—if he ever returned to conversing in full sentences, that was.

Like, why had my powers been so odd growing up? I’d thought my first shift and release of my wolf had triggered my Shadow Realm side to emerge, but now I knew that there had been a few other times.

It had been grief the night my father had died that had opened a doorway to Dannie, allowing her to leave the Shadow Realm. And then there’d been the night of my first shift, when the grief over my rejected mate bond had allowed me to touch the Shadow Realm, setting in motion the rest of my destiny.

Was grief the key? It clearly wasn’t torture or fear, because Torma had thoroughly tested that theory.

Another mystery to add to the endless sea I’d been wading through for years. Even when I thought I had a handle on it, something new would blindside me, and I’d realize I knew nothing.

At least I had my powers today when I needed them, strong and blinding in their intensity, and by the time the fire was near-licking the ceiling of the library, I was able to step through the barrier into the lair.

“Shadow,” I called softly, pushing deeper into the mist-strewn ice locker.