I am still connected to Enyemaka so I am not using words but I am showing her that I am scared. It is feeling like I am telling her color and picture and feeling rather than saying I am scared because saying I am scared is not feeling like I am telling her the whole truth. I am waiting for Enyemaka to tell me that I am to be doing my duty, that this is yet another thing I am soldier in, that I am to be serving memory and thinking of everyone—my brother and sister synth and also the Enyemaka, who are creating library of memory for everyone so they are not forgetting what is happening.

But Enyemaka is not saying anything to me. She is sending me color and image and feeling that is telling me I know. And at the same time, she is telling me that it is okay for me to be scared. Because I am not seeing where we are going. And it is being normal to be scared of the unknown.

And part of me is wondering what is happening to Enyemaka to be talking like this. Is not normal.

We are the same, but we are different, Enyemaka is telling me and I am knowing that she is telling me this about all her sisters. The Enyemaka are all Enyemaka but they are also different Enyemaka, and I am seeing that they are like synth because they are all being connected and feeling what the other is feeling and sometime even thinking what the other is thinking, but they are speaking to my brain with different voice, different collection of image and feeling and color.

Are you scared too?

I don’t know fear. But I am learning what creates it. And I understand that telling falsehoods is part of the equation. Sometimes, when faced with fear, we lie to ourselves and to others to lessen that fear or to erase it completely.

Lying? Who is lying?

They are. And she is pointing to the Enyemaka ahead of us. There is no oasis.

Fear is making me feel like I am at the bottom of the ocean.

They will keep walking until no one is left. And all the Enyemaka hold the memories of Biafra inside them.

Why are you telling me this?

But Enyemaka is not answering. When I am getting hold of myself again and able to move, I am disconnecting my cord from Enyemaka and coming to my feet, but before I am leaving, Enyemaka is grabbing my wrist tight, so tight it is breaking the gears and the plates, and pieces of me are falling into the red dirt. Then Enyemaka is using her other hand to reach into my outlet and she is using drill and she is paining me.